Running - my friend

I'm not as dedicated to running as I was when I started this blog. I take more random days off because running isn't convenient than I did when I first fell in love with running. I also take it for granted a lot, and I don't really race much anymore. I think I did just one race last year, and I only half-heartedly trained for it (the TC 10 miler, because if you are going to run just one race in a year you might as well make it a 10 mile race). I typically run 20-25 miles per week, without any training plan or any real goals from any of the mileage I put in. That suits me just fine most of the time. I might run  a few races this year, or I might not, but I can always count on being able to run a solid 6 miles if I feel like it.

We visited my Dad and Step-Mom yesterday and spent the night at their new house. When I woke up this morning it was raining steadily, and my initial thought of driving to the Lakewalk to run sort of vanished. I had visions of the kids throwing rocks into Lake Superior while T and I ran. In the cold rain though I knew nobody would be up for that but me. I still wanted to run though so I quickly scanned the map from my running app to see what routes I could come up with. I found something that looked to be a decent route and headed out. The first thing I realized upon starting though was that there was a really long kind of steep hill at the start. Rather than readjust my route I decided to suck it up and run up the hill and hope for the best. The run ended up being great. Despite the hills, I was in a good groove and the miles ticked away and felt easy. The best part of planning an out and back route with a huge hill at the beginning is knowing that you get to run down that huge hill at the end. The hills did make my overall time slower than I like to see, but even with that my time was decent. I ran faster than I do from home many times (although my routes from home all have at least one cursed hill in them too).

I won't drone on about running, because I think people who don't run actually hate hearing about running from runners. Weird. I will add though that today reminded me how much I love to run. It reminded me how awesome it feels to be out there in the rain when everyone else thinks you are a bit crazy, and it reminded me that I still have it in me if I want it enough. I'm glad running is still my friend, and I know it will be for a long time to come.

Notice the rain drop falling from my hat brim

Remembering to be Awesome

When I was growing up I wasn’t an athlete.  I tried many different sports including soccer, hockey, baseball, and softball.  I was never the best on any team I played on, but I enjoyed being part of a team and trying to get better.  I didn’t find running until I was an adult.  I can still remember doing my own version of a couch to 5K plan by running between bridges on the 9 Mile Creek Trail and then walking again.  Eventually I was running the whole time, not walking at all, and I was hooked.  I can still remember running 4 miles without stopping and without being winded.  That feeling is something I will probably never replicate, but breaking 2 hours in a half marathon two years ago came pretty close (oddly finishing my 2 marathons did not give me anywhere near the same feeling).  Despite the fact that I have two active kids, work full time, and have lots of other responsibilities I can still make the time to push myself to get better.  In the last few miles of that half marathon 2 years ago, I almost let myself give up.  It was getting harder to maintain my goal pace, and I had stopped to walk through a water stop and didn’t want to run again.  I made the decision that I wasn’t going to come *this  close* again and just let it slip me by, so I didn’t.  I sucked it up, and I let myself be awesome.  It didn’t matter that I didn’t come close to winning any sort of age group award in that race, I had earned a mental victory.

I was out running this weekend, and I started to feel self doubt creep in as I took a walk break, doubt that I could be fast again.  Then I realized what I was doing, a common pattern for me, I was giving myself an excuse not to try.  In my own self-preserving way I was giving myself an easy out, doubting enough so that I wouldn’t really try, and therefore wouldn’t fail.  This year I was supposed to put myself into running again (self imposed goal), but I haven’t.  It is much easier to sit on the sidelines and tell yourself that you can’t, than it is to put in the necessary work and give it a real try.  The reality is that I might not break 2 hours again this year, but I certainly won’t even come close if I don’t try.  I know that the self preserving part of me is there for a reason.  It tries to protect me from failure, even though it often causes me to settle for mediocrity.  I’ve made a promise to myself now, a promise that whenever I feel that self-doubt creep in, and that desire to let myself be mediocre because it is easier, I will remember to be awesome. 

I see myself settling for mediocre in other areas of my life too.  At work it can be easier to complain about the things I can’t control, rather than to put everything I have into the things I can control.  That usually leaves me feeling like something is missing, like I am coasting along and not really challenging myself.  I’m also carrying around about 10 pounds more than I want to, and not because I don’t know how to lose that weight.  I settle for good enough in this aspect of my life too.  Losing these 10 pounds would be easy if I would just get out of my own way.  Excelling in my career should be easy too.  I get lots of professional accolades that I dismiss, or explain away because I don’t feel like I have truly earned them.  In many ways, my self-preservation is harming me, and holding me back.   I’m posting this on my long neglected blog, because I want the reminder of what I can do and what I can be.  Will I allow myself to keep settling for good enough, or will I remember the awesome that is inside me?  I plan to strive for the awesome, and learn from my failures along the way.

An update

I don't think I can make any promises about a return to regular blogging. After a while the novelty wore off, and I lost the drive to post things. I thought I would post a short update for you in any case.

Running
Running is going pretty well for me lately. I made the decision a few months back to take a tiny step back from running so that I could incorporate more cross training. I've been doing The Firm DVDs on my days off from running, and I really enjoy them. Well that isn't entirely true, I mean the DVDSs aren't fun exactly, but I enjoy the results I've seen from doing them consistently. I'm now running 4 days per week, hovering between 20-25 miles per week, but I'm also doing The Firm 2-3 times per week. My leg strength has dramatically increased. I can now run up big hills on my routes without having the slightest (well there might be some) complaint from my legs. It feels great. My arms have muscle tone again. I've been wearing sleeveless shirts on occasion, and have had a few people compliment my arms. Honestly I thought that I had to give up on being buff after I had the kids, but it turns out I didn't.

Weight loss
I watched the Paul McKenna "I Can Make You Thin" series that was on TLC this spring, and it made a huge impact on me. I had gained some weight over the winter, and was feeling pretty depressed about it, and the show started at exactly the right moment to give me an extra kick. For once in my life I've been losing weight without feeling like I'm on a freakish diet that I will instantly stop as soon as I reach my goal weight. Weight Watchers taught me how to control my portions, and how to stay within a POINTS range, but it never taught me how to listen to the cues my own body was sending me to get me to eat and stop eating. I've lost 13 pounds since that first show aired in late March. I didn't use much of his advice apart from the 4 golden rules he drilled in. All of those thoughts I had that perhaps my body just didn't want to get back to its pre The Boy weight, were just excuses. I'm 2-3 pounds from that weight now, and it feels fantastic to have done it without counting a single point or calorie. I eat when I'm hungry, and I stop when I'm full, and I eat what I feel like eating not what I think I should. It sounds so simple, and like it can't possibly work, but it really does.

The Boy
He turns 5 on Saturday. I can't believe how fast this time has gone. In some ways it feels like he has been in my life forever, but in others it feels like he was just born and I was cradling him in my arms struggling to make breastfeeding work. He has a new love of nature, and is obsessed with catching bugs/frogs/toads, or whatever else he can think of at the moment. He is also in love with his bike. He rides as often as he can, and for as long as we will let him. He took to the bike almost immediately, and while he insists that the training wheels will stay on forever we think he is almost ready to ditch them now (he got the bike last month!). He continues to question everything he sees and everything we say, but I guess it shows he has a good thirst for knowledge. We plan to send him to full day Kindergarten in the fall. We worry a bit that he will be the youngest in his class, but in all regards he does seem ready. All we can do is go with what we know now, and be thankful that the neighbor kid who is a few days younger than him is also starting full day Kindergarten in the fall.

The Girl
She turned 3 last month. She is nothing if not full of life. She recovered well from her stitches, although we do think there will be a lasting scar from the experience. She is not a shrinking violet, she lets the entire world know when she is unhappy about something. Just the other day T was driving her home from daycare and she threw up while sitting in her carseat. T tried to comfort her as he rushed her home by saying "oh baby, I'm so sorry." She stopped mid-puke to say "I am NOT a gurgle gurgle Baby!" She has no qualms about letting you know when you are wrong! There have been many days when I just give up on getting her dressed in the morning, and just send her to daycare in her jammies...it is just easier than fighting with her. I'd add that she'll likely be a handful in her teen years, but who really knows. She is a handful now, but she definitely makes our lives interesting. She has been spreading rumors at daycare that we have a new baby at home, but that it is teeny tiny. News to us! Perhaps she knows something that we don't (though really she doesn't!). She is actually sitting on the computer desk as I type this right now, she is asking me to read the invitation for her brother's birthday party that was sitting on the desk. Does this say Happy J Birthday? She is so cute.

The House/Remodel
We finally got new furniture for the house this spring. It feels nice to have real grown up furniture in our new space. Of course the remodel never really ends. We have plans to tackle the worst of the landscaping issues this summer...maybe if we make effort.

What else?
I'm not sure what else I should update my blog readers about. If you have any questions for me post them in the comments and I'll try to respond!

Angel on the treadmill

It is winter here in the frozen north. We've gotten enough snow this week that I have traded in my morning outdoor runs for morning treadmill runs. Truth be told I've been intermingling treadmill runs in my routine for about a month, because sometimes it is just too cold to run outside...and dark. I used to just settle for watching the local news while on the treadmill, it is okay but they repeat themselves every 15 minutes or so which gets old.

A while back I was flipping through channels and settled on Angel on TNT. I had one brief stint in time of watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so I wasn't unfamiliar with Angel. I decided it was worth a shot, and now I am hooked. I now spend less time slurping my pre-run coffee and checking email because I want to get down to the treadmill so I can see more of Angel. It seems to be on at 5 AM and 6 AM each and every weekday morning. I typically catch the end of the 5 AM show, and the beginning of the 6 AM show. This is okay, but it leaves me with big blanks in the happenings of the show. Thankfully they do a good job of recapping previous shows at the beginning of episodes, but I still have to piece together many details. I also have to endure really long commercial breaks, which isn't ideal.

So what is a girl to do? I could buy Angel seasons on DVD, but I don't think I would want to watch them multiple times. I think the better solution is to get a netflix subscription so I can rent Angel seasons, and then other shows when I'm done with Angel...I should start with Buffy I suppose....Charmed looks interesting to fill this treadmill viewing need too. The other option would be to get a second DVR so I can watch recorded shows in the basement, so many choices to make and so much of my cheapness to set in and stop all of them...I predict more parts of shows with plenty of commercials in my future.

Hello treadmill my old friend

Forgive this post, but as I was running on the treadmill this fine morning I started composing a sad and lame little version of the awesome Simon and Garfunkel tune The Sound of Silence. The background is that I was running on my incredibly loud treadmill early in the morning, and my children woke up in the middle of my run. If you can finish it with treadmill running appropriate lyrics for the last two verses of the song I will bow down to you. I started watching the local news after I got these three verses down:

Hello treadmill, my old friend,
I’ve come to run on you again,
Because my husband who is trav-ling,
Left our kids while they were sleeping,
And the addiction that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of loudness.

In restless dreams I ran alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a closet light,
I turned my shoes to the hard and fake
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A red L-E-D
That split the dawn
And touched the sound of loudness.

And in the dim light I saw
Two other people, maybe more.
Children waking without screaming,
Children whining without listening,
Children disturbing runs that mommies couldn’t share
And they both dared
Disturb the sound of loudness.

How the podcast ruined my run

A few weeks back I discovered that I could download free podcasts from Itunes. It didn't seem all that exciting at first, but when I realized that I could replace the old tired music on my little Ipod Shuffle with podcasts for my runs I got a little thrill. So this morning I set out for my 10 miler armed with a water bottle, my cell phone, a baseball cap, and my magenta Shuffle filled with podcasts. The first mile was filled with music, but then I found a podcast and got engrossed. I made it through mile 6 or so on that first podcast (Manic Mommies if you are interested), and then Wait Wait Don't Tell Me came on. Ahhh, what a great show that is! I was so engrossed in listening to the shows that I forgot to worry about all of the aches and pains that can sometimes accompany a run. I also forgot to pay attention to my pace. My first mile was done in a respectable 9:15, but the rest of the run was downhill from there. I had only one other sub 10:00 minute mile today because I was running like I wasn't even trying. Oh well, I think I usually run my long runs too fast, so perhaps this was good for me. If nothing else it felt like the fastest 10 miler I've ever done...even if it was more than 10 minutes slower than I would have liked.

If you have any good podcasts to pass along please do so, my weekend long runs will be ever so grateful for new things to divert my attention from the fact that my feet are continually pounding against the pavement for miles on end.

A run in the day

Morning was just a little smoother today…

Rather than bore you with my pre-run torture schedule, I thought I would share with you my Tuesday morning run.

My runs all begin basically the same way: Out the door to set T’s Garmin GPS watch outside (finish getting ready inside while the GPS finds its satellites), then back out the door, ready to run, put the watch on walk down the driveway, start running.

Quiet morning today, I don’t see anybody outside until just before I get to my first major road crossing. Ah, but there she is, another runner. She passes less than 20 seconds before I reach the intersection. She is running on the other side of the street (she is running with traffic, where I will cross and run against traffic…more practically I’ll be running on the side of the road with the asphalt bike path while she is running on the side with concrete sidewalks – ouch her knees!). As I cross the street I notice another runner coming up the road I’m about to turn onto, she must not pass me. Oh, but she turns off onto the other street, no need to worry about her passing me. I decide I have to keep the other girl in my sights. She looks strong and also like she is moving at a nice clip. Oh, what’s this, there is a guy out walking, he’s wearing black shorts and a white t-shirt, I must pass him. Oh, but he turned off onto a side street; I won’t be able to pass him because I am continuing on. I’m impressed with myself as we reach the next major intersection, fast girl and I peel off in opposite directions on the same road at basically the same time. I was impressed with her pace, but then I was keeping it too, go me! Oh, look another runner going the other way, lots of runners out today. Garmin chirps at me, one mile down 9:19. Not bad I guess, though it certainly felt like I was running faster than that.

Now up the hill. Man do I hate this hill. Why do I insist on taking this route so often? Surely I could find a better route with fewer hills, oh that’s right but then I have to contend with the killer geese. I guess I’ll take my chances with the hills. Stupid hill, my legs hurt. I want to walk; surely walking just a little stretch wouldn’t be so bad. No walking. Right right, no walking, I’ll just run up the hill, I mean the worst part of the hill is only ½ mile long, then it has a few flats in it. I’ve run it many times before, stop whining. Look there is a woman out walking her dog, we should get a dog, I miss our dog. Stupid legs, my quads hurt, I should just walk a little. No walking. Ahhh a flat, that wasn’t so bad, was it? Yes it was, my legs still hurt, and there is still more hill left. I should look at my watch, no I won’t look at my watch until it chirps at me after this mile is done. More hill, but just a little more before we reach the shopping center complex, then there is the big downhill, almost there. Chirp, 10:40. 10:40??? How is that possible? I didn’t walk at all! I did it in 10:40 on Sunday and I walked twice, I didn’t feel like I slowed down that much today. Stupid hill, maybe my GPS lost its signal and I really ran it faster than that. Oh right, but it chirped at me at the exact same point it always chirps at me for mile 2, probably not a GPS error. Crap I’m slow.

Well at least I’m running downhill now. Look a minivan just pulled out of the underground garage in that apartment complex, I wonder if they like living in those apartments. I probably wouldn’t like living there since this street is so busy, but then we have a house so why do I care? Crap, there are geese on the side of the path ahead. There are 3 big geese and a ton of baby geese, they are so totally going to hiss at me and try to attack me. Damn this road is busy; I can’t even run in the road. I’m going to stop and cross the street to run past those stupid geese. Crisis averted, ran in the median for a while to get past the geese. After the near miss with the geese on the other route a few weeks back I just can’t be too careful, that was scary! I swear that goose was going to peck my legs. Okay onto the final stretch, just 1.5 miles from home. That’s just 6 laps on the treadmill; I can do that in my sleep. Why do I equate outside distance to laps on the treadmill anyway? That is weird. The nice little senior coop housing complex has its sprinklers on. Why do they insist on watering the sidewalks? I’m just going to run in the street to get past them. I don’t like running in sprinklers, even if I am hot. Another sprinkler on the sidewalk ahead, this is just so wasteful. How difficult is it to aim your sprinklers so that they don’t water the sidewalks? Chirp, 9:39. Well at least I am sub 10:00 pace again.

Just 4 laps left, and look I can start playing alphabet games with the street signs. This street name starts with L, the next street I cross starts with J. Oh, I’m already to I, then H, then G, look I’m all the way to F, and I get to hit the crosswalk button so I can rest for a minute before going across. Well that was a buzz kill, no wait, must keep running. Look two more runners out, I guess everyone is out running early to try to beat the heat and humidity. Is that the same guy out walking? What is he just walking tiny little laps around the area? I suppose it could be someone else in black shorts and a white t-shirt, not exactly a unique outfit choice. I mean I’m wearing black shorts and a purple shirt, but then this purple shirt has those stupid micro sleeves that flip out. Duck pond, almost home. I should just walk, I’m almost home, stop talking about walking, just suck it up and run the last 0.3 miles. I’ll just run around the next two corners and then I’ll walk, or maybe I’ll just run. Oh it’s a little dog ahead, I think he is threatened by me, yes he is barking at me, ah but now he is turning away and running back home, not so brave after all. Scrubs-wearing guy is out watering his immaculate lawn, and he ferries scrappy little dog away from me. I wonder if scrubs-wearing guy is a doctor. Do doctors wear scrubs other than when they are in the hospital? Look I’m almost home, seeing a neighbor out always stops me from walking. Home. No chirp, still need another 0.1 miles to make it an even 4. Should I bother? Nope. I’m done, at least I didn’t walk. 38:03 for 3.9 miles, not a speed record for me by any means but not too bad for a Tuesday morning.
Now the real work begins, getting the kids up, dressed, fed, and out the door. I suppose I should take a shower first.

Status Report

As you may or may not know I have been making little tweaks to my life this year. I decided that it was time for an update, so here it goes. My newest life change has been the shift of my obsessive compulsive running habit from after work to early morning. I now wake up at 5:30 AM most weekdays to run or do some other form of exercise (an exercise video which shall remain nameless because frankly I don’t think it deserves any more attention, has found its way into my routine once or twice a week now). Those first few weeks of waking up nearly an hour earlier than normal were brutal. I had to drag my butt out of bed each and every day, and I kept wondering why I was torturing myself. Now, while I can’t say it is easy to get out of bed in the morning, my body has adjusted and I actually wake up before my alarm goes off most days. I can run up to 5 miles or so before my late return starts to impact T’s morning routine. I’ve been getting up early now for perhaps six weeks, I guess that means it has become my new normal.

Having my run/workout out of the way early in the morning has given me more flexibility in my schedule. I no longer have to scheme ways to fit in my run after work, and I can actually pick up the kids at daycare if I so choose. I’m still getting to work at close to 8 AM, but I am sacrificing an hour of sleep. I know my body has adjusted, but my eyes are bloodshot nearly every day. I don’t think I’m getting enough sleep, but going to bed at 9:30 PM isn’t appealing to me. For now I’ve decided that the pros of getting up early outweigh the cons, we’ll see how I feel in the dead of winter when it is bitch black outside at 5:30 AM.

My other big news is that I approached my boss with an idea that will help me fill in some of the downtime I occasionally have at work. While, it doesn’t seem as though there will be much downtime for the balance of the summer, I was given the go ahead for my plan. I’m excited by the challenge, and hopeful that it will bring good results for the company. Mostly, I’m thrilled that I took the time to put myself out there, rather than just staying with the status quo that was making me miserable. I’m not going to post the specifics about what I’ll be doing because I’m still under the illusion that this blog is not known about at work. While I’ve never said anything derogative, my little online journal isn’t exactly what I want my boss to read. If you want more details, feel free to email me…I keep meaning to set up an email link here and perhaps this will spur me to actually do so.

Baby steps really do get you where you want to go if you have a little patience and a lot of persistence.

Seven things about me

Jennifer tagged me for this, so that is my excuse. I’m not big on memes because usually I’m just too self-absorbed to want to answer questions other people have posed to me. I’d rather just blather on about what I want to talk about and screw everyone else. Still, I guess this meme is all about me, so I’ll play along. The gist of this meme is that I’m supposed to tell you seven things about me that I want you to know. So here goes:

One
I’m obsessed with running. If I don’t run for a couple of days I start to get an itch, and I start making everyone around me miserable. T has been known to tell me “go for a run,” when I am complaining about something trivial. It usually works. I’ve been a runner since 1999, and have only taken two brief breaks from it since then (surrounding the births of my children). I was so sad when extreme calf pain forced me to stop running when I was pregnant with The Boy, and while I continued to walk it just wasn’t the same. People figured I was miserable because I was in my third trimester, but the truth was that I was miserable because I couldn’t run. I promptly started running again when he was around 2 weeks old. I think I waited 3 weeks after The Girl was born, because the logistics were such that it just wasn’t possible to run before then.

Two
I have a bachelor’s of Mechanical Engineering (yes that’s a BME not a BS), but I have zero mechanical aptitude. T once told me that a colleague of his had said “it must be cool to have a wife that is a mechanical engineer, because she can fix things.” He laughed heartily at the poor guy, because he has seen my ability to fix things. I understand math, I understand physics, and honestly that is what you need to be an engineer, fixing things has nothing to do with it! Plus the MBA has effectively cancelled out all of my engineering knowledge.

Three
I have a hard time spending money on myself. I will buy the kids new clothes, T new clothes, and things for the house before I will buy myself new clothes. When I do buy clothes I tend to buy things that are on clearance, and have the hardest time spending much more than $50 on any article of clothing. Really less than $30 is my comfort zone. I am one to agonize over a purchase for weeks before following through, or more likely before convincing myself that I don’t need it.

Four
I’m addicted to caffeine. I routinely have 3 cups of coffee a day at a minimum. Thankfully I don’t have to pay for the coffee at work, though to be fair the free coffee is the reason I’m at 3 cups a day now. I’m also addicted to diet soda, but I have managed to wean myself down to just one can per day. I really like Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, yummy!

Five
I think my kids are the brightest, cutest, best kids in the entire world. Oh, I am capable of seeing the good in other people’s kids, but my own will always be better. No offense.

Six
I hate having my house ripped up. I need to have a sense of order in my life, and having the entire main floor of my house destroyed is not good for this desire. I put the kids’ toys away for them most of the time because I just can’t handle looking at the clutter. I even clean The Boy’s room for him almost nightly because those dumped over toy bins drive me absolutely insane. Also, the stepping on a hot wheels car or Lego in the middle of the night isn’t so fun either, so cleaning has a practical side.

Seven
You would think I had always been a neat freak based on number six above, but that isn’t the case. I was a slob until well into my twenties. I’m not sure what changed, but I do recall that T and I would leave stacks of dishes in the sink until we just had no dishes left to use. The thought of that now makes me want to vomit, but I guess at that point in my life it was okay.

Now it is time for me to tag others for this meme. This is tricky since most of my default tagees have already been tagged. I’m tagging Kate, Leslie, and Christine, have fun!

Not twice the effort

I had a fabulous run yesterday, one of those runs where you feel like you could run forever, but your body still thanks you when you stop after 6.5 miles. I wasn’t running fast by any means, but I did finally venture back to the scene of the great snake sighting. Running by that creek always puts me in a good mood. I was reminded again just how lucky I am to have such a scenic trail so close to home. Mostly though I just let my mind wander. I started thinking that I should really sign up for a race because it has been many months since I last raced. Perhaps a summer half marathon is in order to spur me to run longer than a seven mile long run each week (or 6.5). I should check the race calendar to see what my options are.

As I was contemplating the idea of a half marathon, I was reminded of a conversation I had after completing one of my early half marathons. I was relating that a half marathon was a huge effort, and I didn’t see how it would be possible to run twice as long in order to complete a full marathon. A half marathon was taxing enough, I just didn’t see how I could expend even more effort to run a full. I honestly can’t remember who it was that responded that “A marathon isn’t twice the effort; it is the same effort, longer.” I remember thinking this couldn’t possibly be true, but after running a few marathons I’d wager that she was right. Of course getting to the point of being able to expend the same effort for twice as long isn’t trivial. It takes many weeks, and many long runs in order to build your endurance to that point.

I was trying to decide if the whole not twice the effort, just the same effort longer thing works for other areas of my life. Does it work for having more than one kid? No, having two kids is definitely more effort than having just one. Or is it? Yes, most definitely it is. Although, a case could be made that it is just the same effort longer. I mean yes there are two kids to get dressed in the morning, two kids to help put shoes on, two kids to get strapped into their car seats, and two kids to hug and kiss goodbye when they are dropped off at daycare. That all boils down to the same effort spread over more time though. Helping The Boy get dressed isn’t all that different from helping The Girl get dressed, one involves a diaper change and the other involves some prodding to use the toilet. Still, it isn’t all bad, there are now two kids who look at me like I am their world, two kids who say “I love you Mommy,” or in the case of The Girl “My love you Mommy.” Two kids who I get to watch transform before my eyes as they learn and grow each and every day.

I don’t plan on running any marathons in the near future, but it is clear that I will be participating in plenty of endurance sporting for the next several years. Yes, I will keep running, but the biggest test of my endurance to date seems to be this thing called parenting. There is no option of taking the DNF here either. In a marathon I can quit at any point, but with kids we have to just keep on running no matter how tired we are. Whether it is lying on the floor until The Girl goes to sleep, or handling the tough life and death questions with some sort of clarity, there is always a new challenge. I expect that while the physically challenging aspects of parenting (sleep deprivation, having to carry children around, etc.) will diminish as the kids age, the new mental challenges will be just as great. I swear, I never thought of any of this when we first decided to have kids.

Thankfully the trail is not well traveled

I went out for a run this morning, and on the way to my favorite trail I was reminiscing about the beautiful things I've seen outside recently. A few weeks back I was running up the major street that is closest to my house. There is the hint of a bike path along one side of the road so I keep it in my running rotation. The street is very busy, but one side borders a wet land area. As I was running I glanced down into the swamp water immediately to my left I saw a beaver swimming. He/she quickly hightailed it away from my view, but I still got goosebumps thinking about how incredibly cool it is that I can be right next to a major road and still see wild animals going about their lives.

The beaver was a somewhat rare sighting for me. I mean I routinely see rabbits, mostly at our house since they seem to have formed a colony underneath our multi-level deck. Good thing we don't garden! I also see squirrels and chipmunks or gophers, whatever it is they actually are. Of course there are also the geese, and the ducks, the ducks who decided our driveway was a fine place to land a while back. Lest you think we live in the boonies, I'll say we are right smack in the middle of suburbia, albeit a suburb that does have a big chunk of undeveloped wetlands in the middle. Wednesday I saw a blue heron on the banks of a tiny pond as I ran past. It really has been a fabulous few weeks in the nature watching department.

All of the recent animal sightings had me in a glow of wonder and amazement. I decided to run down to my favorite creekside trail so I could enjoy the creek rather than staring at houses. The trail is a nice little treat. I started running because of this trail. We used to live much closer to the trail, so it was my daily running path, but now I only get over there a few times per month. I'd run a little over a mile on the trail when it happened. I saw a dead snake on the trail. I briefly freaked out, but since it didn't move at all I just gave it some space and kept on my way. Perhaps 40 feet later I saw another snake, and this one wasn't dead. I screamed. I stopped in my tracks, and I waited for the little baby garter snake to get out of my way. Shit. I hate snakes. All of my thoughts about how much I enjoy nature just vanished as I could feel my heart racing faster than the running pace I was keeping could cause. I'm sure I sounded like an idiot, but thankfully the trail is not well traveled. I doubt anybody heard my little girly scream. Stupid snake, now I'll have to avoid the trail for a few months before I feel like it is safe again.

An Ode to my Treadmill

You occupy a small portion of the basement family room, your humble little spot right in front of the never used wood burning fireplace. You consume 15 amps of current when operational, but never seem to blow the fuse. You have nice little nooks for storing television remotes, and random things like Kleenex and cell phones. You have a nice bar to hang a towel from, and a nice display that tells me how close I am to completing each ¼ mile lap. You can wirelessly read Polar heart rate monitor strap signals, though I confess to not using one in years. You have a nice soft but sturdy belt to absorb my foot strikes. Okay, truthfully I’m really struggling to come up with more compliments for you. The best thing about you is that you allow me to stay in decent running shape throughout the long cold winter. I can rely on you to be there no matter what the weather is like. I trust that I can step onto you and have basically the same experience every single time. Sure I play around with speed and incline to spice things up, but you and me, and the fan placed strategically behind us are the key ingredients. Thank you for being there for me.

You deserve the credit for my two awesome outdoor runs this week. The hilly mile of Tuesday’s run (a mile that is almost entirely uphill) was done in just 10:08, and my quads weren’t even screaming. The last time I’d run that route was in December and that mile was much closer to 12:00 back then. Some non-runners won’t understand the significance of just two measly minutes, but we know what that means. It means all of those Thursday speedwork sessions, where you happily increased my pace for 400 meter or 800 meter intervals had a great impact. I was used to losing speed in the spring, when I first ventured outdoors again, but not this year. This year, I decided to increase my mileage indoors, and incorporate speedwork to allay boredom, and it worked. I am not completely done with you for the season; your convenience still keeps you on my list of running options. However we won’t be spending nearly as much time together. I know you will be there for me on rainy days, and on sweltering hot days, and just days when I can’t fit in a run in the daylight.

Just remember that as I am running outdoors you have some duties to fulfill. You need to keep the recumbent bike company; he is certainly very lonely since nobody uses him with any regularity. Perhaps you can give the free weights and bench a pep talk, because eventually they will find their way back into my favor. Soon enough there will be a new room for you in the basement, an exercise room all for you. Oh, it doesn’t have anywhere near the ambiance of the family room, nor the nice natural lighting that comes in from the walk-out side of the house. It will, however, keep you from having little children climb all over you in ways that were never intended. You will also have your own dedicated 20 amp circuit to protect you from the possibility of blowing fuses. It is for your own protection you see. Never let anyone tell you that you have been hidden away so we had room in the basement for more practical things. You, my friend, are the most practical thing in the basement.

Treadmill violation

I came home from work yesterday, just like I do any other Monday. I generally skip a long lunch at work so that I can get home before DH and the kids in order to run on the treadmill before they get home. It might not be the ideal solution, but the alternative of waking up at 5 AM to run, just hasn’t seemed palatable to me for the last few years. My routine is to get the mail, throw 99% of the mail directly into the trash because it is inevitably junk mail, put away my work gear (lunch cooler bag, the messenger bag I carry my laptop in, etc.), then head upstairs to change into treadmill running clothes. What are treadmill running clothes you ask? They are the same as outdoor summer running clothes, with the absence of a shirt to go over my sports bra. Shorts, a sports bra, socks, and lately a zip up hooded sweatshirt to keep me from freezing for the first 2-3 minutes of my run (it is wicked cold in our basement), complete my standard wardrobe. Yesterday, however, I had to wear a shirt as well because the person who is helping us with the basement project was there working. All of a sudden my space had been invaded. I briefly contemplated running after he left, but the reality that the kids would intrude upon my run flashed upon me so I sucked it up and ran anyway.

Years ago I didn’t have my own treadmill, but used the treadmills at the health club. I never had a problem with the fact that others would perhaps catch a glimpse of me running, but in my own home it just feels like a violation. DH told me that I’m being a big baby, and he is most likely right. I’m sure I will get over it soon enough. I don’t know why it bothers me so much, but I do know that on a recent work trip I was stuck on a hotel treadmill in a room that had mirrors on two walls. Watching my own self run on the treadmill was more than horrifying. Here I was, running, improving my fitness, but faced with the reality of my jiggly thighs all I could think about was how I should have avoided that cookie at lunch. I now have that mental image of my thighs whenever I think that anyone else is watching me run on a treadmill (outside I’ve concluded everybody looks better, and I honestly don’t give it a second thought). Stupid mirrors, why on earth would anyone want to watch themselves running on a treadmill?

Is it spring yet?

January is almost over, which means February is about to begin, yippee! Oh wait, what does the start of February mean? That’s right, not much at all. Another 4 weeks until we get to March, which can still be frigid here in the frozen tundra, but just sounds like spring. I can’t believe I actually posted in December about it being too warm, what was I thinking? That is seasonal amnesia for you. My treadmill is getting quite a workout lately, as this weather wimp is opting for every run on the good old TM rather than braving the frigid outdoor air. Still the thought of spring keeps creeping into my mind, and I keep plugging away on the TM so I will be ready to run outside when it warms up again. I need to find a new goal race to aim towards, perhaps a late spring half marathon?

Let's piss off some women runners

I just read this post here, about this article, and am fuming mad. The guy who wrote the article is deemed an "expert" but has no PhD or MD after his name so I assume he is just spewing a theory.

The only reason women would ever even consider running is so that they could be "little and cute" don't you know. We wouldn't want to risk being "saggy and hurt." Perhaps if we buy more of the author's products or services we can become "little and cute" without *gasp* running. Please. I've been a runner since 1999, and I do not have a classic runner's body. I've never been injured in a way that didn't directly relate to shoes, despite training for and running two marathons and many half marathons. I have no words for the author, he is not worthy of them.

Global warming much?

Picture this, woman gets home from work, changes into running clothes (a light long-sleeved cool max shirt and a single layer of running tights), and goes for a run outside. So you are thinking, what is the big deal about that, people do that every day, why in the hell are you wasting my time with it on your blog? The big deal is that it was December 14th, and I ran outside with only one thin layer of clothing on my body. Not only did I only have one layer of clothing on, but maybe 2 miles into my run I felt too warm and wished I had worn shorts instead. It was December 14th, seriously, in the Frozen Tundra it is not supposed to be warm enough to even consider running outside in shorts in December. That is why I own a treadmill. I don’t like to run in the cold, I don’t like to have to don 3 layers of clothing just to freeze my ass off while running. I much prefer outdoor running to treadmill running, but being the weather wimp that I am I always opt for shorts and a sports bra in the climate controlled house over icicles forming on your neck gaiter because your warm breath condenses in it when you breathe and then freezes.

I know there are die hard runners out there; it seems that one of my neighbors is of that variety, but as far as I’m concerned they are crazy. I am not one of them. I used to run outside more often through the entire winter, at least doing my long runs outside to break up the monotony of all of that treadmill running. I find it difficult to motivate myself to run much more than an hour at a shot on the treadmill, so I would take my longer runs outside and just grit my way through it. Now I’ve decided that if I just don’t sign up for a long distance race that will be run before April or May I can just skip all of those longer runs until it is warmer. I can fit in a 7 miler in an hour or so on the TM, and I figure that is good enough to get me through the cold months in decent condition.

As I was running my 4 miles last night, I couldn’t help but ponder why it is that we have no snow on the ground in mid-December, why it was almost 50 degrees when it shouldn’t be much above 32 F. I started really thinking about the Al Gore documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, that I’ve been hearing about. I haven’t watched it, nor was it high on my list of things to buy for Christmas gifts, but I know I want to watch it eventually. I caught part of Al Gore on Oprah a few weeks back, and even the brief views of the documentary had a tremendous impact. It is easy to say that one day of above average temps doesn’t indicate anything in regards to global warming, but the fact is that we’ve had pitiful snow fall for several years now, hotter summers, and warmer winters. It makes me want to buy a hybrid car, but honestly I don’t feel all that motivated to do much more. It feels like such a big problem, and I guess that makes me feel helpless to solve things all on my own. Is it really terrible for me to say that I don’t mind the warmer weather? It is just too bad that there are so many nasty consequences that come along for the ride.

A race report

I mentioned several months back that I had signed up for a 10 mile race, so I figured I owe my loyal reader a race report. The race was the Twin Cities 10-miler, and it took place this past Sunday starting at 7:10 am. The race festivities began for me the day before when I packed up the kids and took them to the marathon expo to get my race packet. I think I had a temporary lapse of sanity when I offered to take both kids by myself, but since I had been gone all week I felt like DH deserved at least a brief period of time to be ALONE in the house. He didn’t protest in the least, so I suspect he was happy to be kid free for a few hours. Back to my story, we got to the Expo site and I decided to just pay the exorbitant $10 to park at the closest most convenient ramp, robbery I tell you! I had decided to just put The Girl in the Ergo backpack, and make The Boy ride in one of our many strollers. This plan was working well; I made my way to pick up my packet without incident. However, then I got greedy and decided to browse through the many booths at the expo. The Girl decided this was a great time to start pulling my hair HARD. I kept turning around to correct her, but it wasn’t working. She just kept grabbing huge chunks of my hair and pulling with all of her might. I finally had The Boy get out of the stroller, took her off of my back, and strapped her into the stroller instead. My scalp thanked me, but now I was dealing with a preschooler who likes to wander just a little too far away from me for me to feel comfortable in a huge crowd of people. We had to leave. $10 to park for maybe 20 minutes of expo attendance, not bad for the parking lot owners anyway. I took the kids home for naps, and tried to just relax for the rest of the day. Sadly The Girl fell asleep for approximately 5 minutes on the drive home, and seemed to proclaim “what do you mean I need a nap? I had a nap in the car, don’t you remember Mom?” The afternoon was spent fighting with an uncooperative toddler, and she never did take a nap.

Later that evening, DH and I were discussing the plan for getting me to the start of the race at approximately 6:30 am. Neither of us was enthused about our options, all of which involved waking up children earlier than they should be woken up. Out of the blue the phone rang, and our fabulous DCP offered to come over to sit with the kids in the morning so DH could drop me off w/o having to wake up the kids, problem solved! Have I mentioned before how fabulous our DCP is? I don’t even remember telling her that I was running the race.

The morning of the race, things went smoothly, I woke up, showered, ate, had some coffee, and it was off to the start. DH dropped me off a few blocks away from the start, I walked over and used the bathrooms a few times while I polished off a bottle of water. I made my way back to the starting line, and took my place in the second wave starting gate. Someone sang the Star Spangled Banner, the mayor of Minneapolis spoke, and wave one started. A minute or so later, wave 2 was released and we were off. I won’t bore you with a step-by-step recount of the race, because frankly I don’t even think I am capable of writing one. Mostly I felt good during the race. There were a few uphills that had my legs screaming, but cardio-wise I felt good through the entire race. I let myself walk up one big hill that just always gets to me whenever I run it (from the river up to Summit Avenue). I think my problem with that hill is mostly mental, but my legs thanked me for walking it anyway.

I tried calling DH (yes I had my cell phone in my pocket) when I was maybe one mile from the finish line, to let him know that I was close, but he missed my call. I didn’t realize until after I finished that he had tried calling me back immediately after that call. I decided to just give the last mile more effort than I had been giving the preceding miles, when I reached the Cathedral I really kicked it in. I sailed to the finish line, and was thankful to be able to stop running. The finishing chute is longer than you think it is when you see it from the Cathedral. I didn’t see DH or the kids anywhere near the finish, but we had agreed to meet in the family meeting area so I just made my way through the crowd, got my t-shirt and my free food and found the first letter of my last name sign. DH and the kids weren’t there, and DH wasn’t answering his phone, so I waited until he finally called me back. They found me, and we made our way to the car and headed back home.

My only complaint from the race was that my left foot was hurting from early on in the race and continued to hurt afterwards. I had been nursing a soft tissue injury (self-diagnosis from a visible bruise on the bottom of my foot) for several weeks, and I think the run aggravated it. I’m also wondering if my trusty Asics need to be switched out for something that fits my feet better. I’ve had arch issues before, and they were related to a new pair of Asics, and I think I ended up in Brooks for a time after that debacle. Of course the injury occurred in a very old worn pair of shoes, so I want to give the new shoes I have a few more weeks before I switch them out.

Next race? I’m not sure. I doubt I will run anything this winter, but perhaps a Thanksgiving 5K would be fun.

Racing again

After a long hiatus I have decided to run a race again. If memory serves, the last race I ran was Grandma’s Marathon in 2004. I’m not sure why I haven’t run a race since then, other than maybe the fact that I got pregnant with The Girl just a few months later. Of course The Boy was just 4 months old when I ran my first race after his birth, and Grandma’s was almost exactly one year after his birth. This time around I didn’t feel compelled to prove that I could get back into shape so quickly, so I haven’t pushed myself too much. Yes, I was running just 2.5 weeks after The Girl was born, but I haven’t run anything over maybe 9 miles since that 2004 marathon. I suppose it is time for me to test the waters again. I’m registered for a 10 mile race in early October, so I have some incentive to start increasing my weekend long run again. I would like to finish in 90 minutes or less, but I don’t intend on fretting about it too much. My new motto is that running should be my stress-release not my stress inducer. I hope I can increase my mileage and keep it fun. My Type A personality just likes to kick in and find training plans online though…so far I haven’t even Googled it, any bets as to how long it takes me to do so?

There is some sick twisted sense of pride that kicks in when I meet/exceed a running goal. However, I never felt that pride when I finished either of my marathons. Training for the marathons was like having a second part-time job that I didn’t enjoy very much. I had training plans in Excel looming over me, and Hal Higdon words of wisdom ingrained in my head. Both experiences left me saying something to the effect of Why in the hell did I do that to myself? I know I am capable of working towards a running goal without torturing myself, and I intend to try it once again.

Cheating on the treadmill

We had a warm stretch of weather recently (warm being a relative term here in the Frozen Tundra), warm enough that I decided to leave the treadmill out of my weekend running adventures. I hope the treadmill wasn’t too offended by the slight, but the thought of actually running somewhere was just too appealing to pass up.

It took me almost 20 minutes to track down all of my outdoor running paraphernalia since the treadmill and I have been such good buds for most of the fall and all of the winter. I set the Garmin GPS watch (fabulous running gadget that is technically DH’s but since he hasn’t run since shortly after his DNF in the marathon I have taken it over) outside to gain a satellite signal, came back in and stripped off my fleecy vest because it was too warm for it. I also had to make sure my Nike arm strap MP3 player had a new battery in it so I didn’t run out of juice for the very outdated tunes I’ve had uploaded on it for the past 3 years. It always seems like a good idea to upload new tunes to it when I am listening to Pink singing Let’s Get this Party Started, but when I get home I throw the player back in the running bin and forget about it until the next outdoor run. Hey I also have UB40 singing Red Red Wine, and that song is always a good idea isn’t it?

The run was fairly uneventful. I passed a gaggle of Army people who were congregated after a run (I assume because they all looked sweaty and many had red faces), I only know they were army because of the telltale ARMY on their t-shirts (yes I am very observant). I also ran along a road that is partially closed off to all traffic, and it was only barely passable by foot. Aside from that there were very few distractions along the way. I remembered what hills are, and my quads and hamstrings appreciated the extra workout they got running up and down some nice hills. I liked it enough that I ran outside the next day as well. Sadly, winter reappeared on Monday and our streets are now snow covered again. The treadmill and I resumed our relationship this afternoon, I did get to catch the end of Oprah so it wasn’t all bad.

Mileage

I'm finally starting to build my mileage again, and it feels pretty good. I'm closing in on 25 miles per week at an average pace of 9:00 minutes per mile (mpm). If I could force myself to lift weights or even remain consistent with an ab routine I think I would be in great shape. As it is, I have this fantasy that I will magically lose 5 pounds and all extra belly/hip/butt fat when I stop nursing infant. I can dream anyway, can't I? Anyway, I am gearing up to run the Get in Gear 10K at the end of April. I've run the GIG twice before, and never had a good race on the course, but then I've never had it as a goal race so to speak. I'd be thrilled with 55 minutes or less for the distance. I am trying to keep running fun and without too much pressure though, so ultimately I just want to feel like I gave it a good effort.

I had a nice 5.5 mile treadmill run this morning in around 50 minutes, watched Rachel Ray's 30 minute meal on the Food network and Curb Appeal on HGTV during the run. What does it say about me that I am watching a cooking show while running? I think it speaks mostly to the fact that we just have basic cable on the tv in front of the treadmill. I'd love to have the DVR down there, or even a DVD player and the entire collection of Alias to watch on DVD. The secret to treadmill running is to preoccupy your mind with television so you forget that you are running in place. You also need to put a towel over the treadmill display so you don't stare at the time s-l-o-w-l-y ticking away. Running outside is a completely different experience, but even then I need my MP3 player to distract myself while running. I am certainly not a simple runner, who just needs a pair of running shoes and some weather appropriate clothing, I like my gadgets.