The Boy and The Girl will not stop singing this silly song from a cell phone commercial. It is driving me bonkers, but tonight I decided to record them doing it so I could share it with family and friends.
12.21.2008
12.18.2008
Ambivalence
I am inching closer to the magic age of 35 with every passing day. I remember telling T at one point that we would certainly be absolutely and completely done having kids by the time I turned 35. I didn't want to be pregnant at an "advanced maternal age." I was 29 when The Boy was born, and 31 when The Girl was born. At 33 there was no way I was ready for another child, and even at 34 it still seems crazy at times. However, as The Girl gets older I find myself wondering if we are done, or if we are just taking a longer break between kids. T and I have had this conversation countless times over the course of the past few years. I know he feels very happy with our family the way it is, he fears the hormonal mess I was during the first few months after The Girl was born - and rightfully so...at least until the Vitamin Z kicked in. He also worries about our kids not being close enough in age, he worries about the third and final child being left out of things since The Boy and The Girl are thick as thieves. He has also started telling me that he is too old to start over again. *sigh* He always ends the conversation saying that he will support whatever decision I make, that if I want to have another child he is willing to try, but that he is also very happy to be done and will make the appointment for the vasectomy as soon as I give him the word.
Why is this so hard? So many of my friends tell me that they just knew they were done with whatever number of kids they have, why don't I just know? Why can't I just feel done? Frankly even more frustrating for me is the fact that I am so ambivalent about it. One day I am 100% convinced that we will have another, and then the next as I'm struggling to buckle The Girl into her carseat in the freezing MN temps I swear that I can't wait until both kids can buckle themselves into their seats and that I'm crazy to start again with another baby. Or, I take both kids to a store and listen to them fight, and I *know* that we are done with two kids. Instead of making a real decision I vacillate between the two extremes almost daily. I'm tired of it. I want to come to a decision and make peace with it.
How did you know you were done?
Why is this so hard? So many of my friends tell me that they just knew they were done with whatever number of kids they have, why don't I just know? Why can't I just feel done? Frankly even more frustrating for me is the fact that I am so ambivalent about it. One day I am 100% convinced that we will have another, and then the next as I'm struggling to buckle The Girl into her carseat in the freezing MN temps I swear that I can't wait until both kids can buckle themselves into their seats and that I'm crazy to start again with another baby. Or, I take both kids to a store and listen to them fight, and I *know* that we are done with two kids. Instead of making a real decision I vacillate between the two extremes almost daily. I'm tired of it. I want to come to a decision and make peace with it.
How did you know you were done?
10.27.2008
Breaking all popularity records
45 comments to my Super Why instruction post breaks all previous records of replies to posts for me. I was curious as to why I was getting so many hits, so I googled "Super Why costume" and found that my post from last year was the number one hit. Craziness! I'm glad that some of you found it helpful. In case some of you aren't getting emails from the Super Why Club Newsletter, this PDF file might be fun for you and your little ones. In case you are still looking for the graphic, please go to Baby Blog Addict for a clean crisp and easily accessible logo. Our Halloween madness begins tomorrow with the annual daycare Halloween party. I'm a little ashamed to admit that The Boy won't even watch Super Why anymore, but his little sister does still like it when she can be dragged away from The Backyardigans. Our Super Why costume will be sitting on a shelf this year, but maybe The Girl will want to wear it next year? She is planning on dressing as Buzz Lightyear this year, and The Boy will be Curious George.
The Halloween tricks began early for us, when the kids decided to decorate our door with sidewalk chalk. While it wasn't a fully santioned activity, it was too cute not to photograph.
Happy Halloween!
The Halloween tricks began early for us, when the kids decided to decorate our door with sidewalk chalk. While it wasn't a fully santioned activity, it was too cute not to photograph.
Happy Halloween!
10.15.2008
Super Why the Costume Part II
I thought this Halloween would be easier for parents of Super Why obsessed kids. However, from the occasional comments to this post from last year, and the flood of emails I get (in my treadmillista account that I basically never check) in response to the Super Why costume I guess I am wrong. I decided to take the time to detail out The Boy's Super Why costume from last year. Hopefully this can help someone else, who is looking for ways to make a Super Why costume for their Super Whyatt loving children.
Please note that I can't find the mask. The costume was in a pile of costumes in the basement play room, and as you know children don't always leave things in neat little piles. I suspect the mask is hiding somewhere in our 2-story plus finished basement house...I just don't know where.
The Shirt: this was made with green t-shirt material by my fabulous MIL. I found the logo on a coloring page printable from the PBS kids website, and then printed it on iron-on ink jet paper (you can buy the iron on ink jet paper at a variety of places including Target) and T ironed it onto the shirt. Baby Blog Addict posted a fabulous clean jpeg image that you can use for this purpose, so check it out - I was emailing it, but I'm burnt out!
The shirt with the pants: The pants were made with the same t-shirt material. My MIL is pretty resourceful and didn't need a pattern to make either the shirt or the pants. This is great because I don't even know how to turn on our sewing machine (it is really T's not mine).
The back of the shirt has two small velcro strips sewn onto it, for easy attachment of the cape:
The shirt with the cape attached: The cape was re-used from a very old costume from T's childhood when he was Batman. It feels like a nylon blend of some sort.
The little shorts: These were also re-used from that same very old Batman costume. Same material as the cape...
The under shirt: The Boy had this already in his closet. It is a size 4 Lands End plain blue long-sleeved t-shirt.
The total package (minus the mask):
The mask - If I remember correctly we used thin foam board to get the basic shape, and then my MIL wrapped the green t-shirt material around it somehow. She used velcro strips at the end of strings of the t-shirt material so it could be secured around The Boy's head.
If you have further questions I will try to funnel them to my mother in law! I hope this helps someone.
Note: I updated the link to the Super Why logo, this new link should work. I apologize for not being responsive to questions/emails, but my current job has me swamped and just unable to devote time to a blog anymore. Good luck with your costume making!
Please note that I can't find the mask. The costume was in a pile of costumes in the basement play room, and as you know children don't always leave things in neat little piles. I suspect the mask is hiding somewhere in our 2-story plus finished basement house...I just don't know where.
The Shirt: this was made with green t-shirt material by my fabulous MIL. I found the logo on a coloring page printable from the PBS kids website, and then printed it on iron-on ink jet paper (you can buy the iron on ink jet paper at a variety of places including Target) and T ironed it onto the shirt. Baby Blog Addict posted a fabulous clean jpeg image that you can use for this purpose, so check it out - I was emailing it, but I'm burnt out!
The shirt with the pants: The pants were made with the same t-shirt material. My MIL is pretty resourceful and didn't need a pattern to make either the shirt or the pants. This is great because I don't even know how to turn on our sewing machine (it is really T's not mine).
The back of the shirt has two small velcro strips sewn onto it, for easy attachment of the cape:
The shirt with the cape attached: The cape was re-used from a very old costume from T's childhood when he was Batman. It feels like a nylon blend of some sort.
The little shorts: These were also re-used from that same very old Batman costume. Same material as the cape...
The under shirt: The Boy had this already in his closet. It is a size 4 Lands End plain blue long-sleeved t-shirt.
The total package (minus the mask):
The mask - If I remember correctly we used thin foam board to get the basic shape, and then my MIL wrapped the green t-shirt material around it somehow. She used velcro strips at the end of strings of the t-shirt material so it could be secured around The Boy's head.
If you have further questions I will try to funnel them to my mother in law! I hope this helps someone.
Note: I updated the link to the Super Why logo, this new link should work. I apologize for not being responsive to questions/emails, but my current job has me swamped and just unable to devote time to a blog anymore. Good luck with your costume making!
10.10.2008
A tough return
It isn't news to you that I am not blogging much these days, or well this year. When you start every post in somewhat of a similar vein, it likely unnecessary though isn't it? I'm back primarily because I'm dealing with something that is happening to a friend, and wanted to talk about it here.
However, first of all I wanted to say that some things have changed in my life in the past few months. I got a new job. A new job that doesn't require any travel. My commute shortened, my work flexibility increased, and I moved completely out of the realm of engineering. It is too soon to tell if this is a good thing, but frankly for the sake of my family this is a very good change. I no longer have to live with the fear that I will have to travel next week or the week after, and dread those long trips away from my kids. It is all about them, and spending time with them.
However, first of all I wanted to say that some things have changed in my life in the past few months. I got a new job. A new job that doesn't require any travel. My commute shortened, my work flexibility increased, and I moved completely out of the realm of engineering. It is too soon to tell if this is a good thing, but frankly for the sake of my family this is a very good change. I no longer have to live with the fear that I will have to travel next week or the week after, and dread those long trips away from my kids. It is all about them, and spending time with them.
So the thing I'm struggling with is that one of the strong and fabulous women with whom I've been in a buddy group with since The Boy was teeny tiny...she is going to miss out on all of the rest of the years with her kids. It is so completely unfair to lose a friend, but a friend with a 5 year old and a 2 year old is just too much. Every time I look at my kids and make plans for next week I think of her, and her battle to make it through just one more day.
Hug your kids, hold them tight. Cherish every moment you have with them.
7.05.2008
A boy and his toads
The Boy is currently in the midst of, what I have been calling, a critter obsession. Here he shows off the toads he found a little more than a week ago (all were released before bedtime that night in case you were wondering).
I tried to imbed the link in this post, but it doesn't seem to be working...
I tried to imbed the link in this post, but it doesn't seem to be working...
6.18.2008
An update
I don't think I can make any promises about a return to regular blogging. After a while the novelty wore off, and I lost the drive to post things. I thought I would post a short update for you in any case.
Running
Running is going pretty well for me lately. I made the decision a few months back to take a tiny step back from running so that I could incorporate more cross training. I've been doing The Firm DVDs on my days off from running, and I really enjoy them. Well that isn't entirely true, I mean the DVDSs aren't fun exactly, but I enjoy the results I've seen from doing them consistently. I'm now running 4 days per week, hovering between 20-25 miles per week, but I'm also doing The Firm 2-3 times per week. My leg strength has dramatically increased. I can now run up big hills on my routes without having the slightest (well there might be some) complaint from my legs. It feels great. My arms have muscle tone again. I've been wearing sleeveless shirts on occasion, and have had a few people compliment my arms. Honestly I thought that I had to give up on being buff after I had the kids, but it turns out I didn't.
Weight loss
I watched the Paul McKenna "I Can Make You Thin" series that was on TLC this spring, and it made a huge impact on me. I had gained some weight over the winter, and was feeling pretty depressed about it, and the show started at exactly the right moment to give me an extra kick. For once in my life I've been losing weight without feeling like I'm on a freakish diet that I will instantly stop as soon as I reach my goal weight. Weight Watchers taught me how to control my portions, and how to stay within a POINTS range, but it never taught me how to listen to the cues my own body was sending me to get me to eat and stop eating. I've lost 13 pounds since that first show aired in late March. I didn't use much of his advice apart from the 4 golden rules he drilled in. All of those thoughts I had that perhaps my body just didn't want to get back to its pre The Boy weight, were just excuses. I'm 2-3 pounds from that weight now, and it feels fantastic to have done it without counting a single point or calorie. I eat when I'm hungry, and I stop when I'm full, and I eat what I feel like eating not what I think I should. It sounds so simple, and like it can't possibly work, but it really does.
The Boy
He turns 5 on Saturday. I can't believe how fast this time has gone. In some ways it feels like he has been in my life forever, but in others it feels like he was just born and I was cradling him in my arms struggling to make breastfeeding work. He has a new love of nature, and is obsessed with catching bugs/frogs/toads, or whatever else he can think of at the moment. He is also in love with his bike. He rides as often as he can, and for as long as we will let him. He took to the bike almost immediately, and while he insists that the training wheels will stay on forever we think he is almost ready to ditch them now (he got the bike last month!). He continues to question everything he sees and everything we say, but I guess it shows he has a good thirst for knowledge. We plan to send him to full day Kindergarten in the fall. We worry a bit that he will be the youngest in his class, but in all regards he does seem ready. All we can do is go with what we know now, and be thankful that the neighbor kid who is a few days younger than him is also starting full day Kindergarten in the fall.
The Girl
She turned 3 last month. She is nothing if not full of life. She recovered well from her stitches, although we do think there will be a lasting scar from the experience. She is not a shrinking violet, she lets the entire world know when she is unhappy about something. Just the other day T was driving her home from daycare and she threw up while sitting in her carseat. T tried to comfort her as he rushed her home by saying "oh baby, I'm so sorry." She stopped mid-puke to say "I am NOT a gurgle gurgle Baby!" She has no qualms about letting you know when you are wrong! There have been many days when I just give up on getting her dressed in the morning, and just send her to daycare in her jammies...it is just easier than fighting with her. I'd add that she'll likely be a handful in her teen years, but who really knows. She is a handful now, but she definitely makes our lives interesting. She has been spreading rumors at daycare that we have a new baby at home, but that it is teeny tiny. News to us! Perhaps she knows something that we don't (though really she doesn't!). She is actually sitting on the computer desk as I type this right now, she is asking me to read the invitation for her brother's birthday party that was sitting on the desk. Does this say Happy J Birthday? She is so cute.
The House/Remodel
We finally got new furniture for the house this spring. It feels nice to have real grown up furniture in our new space. Of course the remodel never really ends. We have plans to tackle the worst of the landscaping issues this summer...maybe if we make effort.
What else?
I'm not sure what else I should update my blog readers about. If you have any questions for me post them in the comments and I'll try to respond!
Running
Running is going pretty well for me lately. I made the decision a few months back to take a tiny step back from running so that I could incorporate more cross training. I've been doing The Firm DVDs on my days off from running, and I really enjoy them. Well that isn't entirely true, I mean the DVDSs aren't fun exactly, but I enjoy the results I've seen from doing them consistently. I'm now running 4 days per week, hovering between 20-25 miles per week, but I'm also doing The Firm 2-3 times per week. My leg strength has dramatically increased. I can now run up big hills on my routes without having the slightest (well there might be some) complaint from my legs. It feels great. My arms have muscle tone again. I've been wearing sleeveless shirts on occasion, and have had a few people compliment my arms. Honestly I thought that I had to give up on being buff after I had the kids, but it turns out I didn't.
Weight loss
I watched the Paul McKenna "I Can Make You Thin" series that was on TLC this spring, and it made a huge impact on me. I had gained some weight over the winter, and was feeling pretty depressed about it, and the show started at exactly the right moment to give me an extra kick. For once in my life I've been losing weight without feeling like I'm on a freakish diet that I will instantly stop as soon as I reach my goal weight. Weight Watchers taught me how to control my portions, and how to stay within a POINTS range, but it never taught me how to listen to the cues my own body was sending me to get me to eat and stop eating. I've lost 13 pounds since that first show aired in late March. I didn't use much of his advice apart from the 4 golden rules he drilled in. All of those thoughts I had that perhaps my body just didn't want to get back to its pre The Boy weight, were just excuses. I'm 2-3 pounds from that weight now, and it feels fantastic to have done it without counting a single point or calorie. I eat when I'm hungry, and I stop when I'm full, and I eat what I feel like eating not what I think I should. It sounds so simple, and like it can't possibly work, but it really does.
The Boy
He turns 5 on Saturday. I can't believe how fast this time has gone. In some ways it feels like he has been in my life forever, but in others it feels like he was just born and I was cradling him in my arms struggling to make breastfeeding work. He has a new love of nature, and is obsessed with catching bugs/frogs/toads, or whatever else he can think of at the moment. He is also in love with his bike. He rides as often as he can, and for as long as we will let him. He took to the bike almost immediately, and while he insists that the training wheels will stay on forever we think he is almost ready to ditch them now (he got the bike last month!). He continues to question everything he sees and everything we say, but I guess it shows he has a good thirst for knowledge. We plan to send him to full day Kindergarten in the fall. We worry a bit that he will be the youngest in his class, but in all regards he does seem ready. All we can do is go with what we know now, and be thankful that the neighbor kid who is a few days younger than him is also starting full day Kindergarten in the fall.
The Girl
She turned 3 last month. She is nothing if not full of life. She recovered well from her stitches, although we do think there will be a lasting scar from the experience. She is not a shrinking violet, she lets the entire world know when she is unhappy about something. Just the other day T was driving her home from daycare and she threw up while sitting in her carseat. T tried to comfort her as he rushed her home by saying "oh baby, I'm so sorry." She stopped mid-puke to say "I am NOT a gurgle gurgle Baby!" She has no qualms about letting you know when you are wrong! There have been many days when I just give up on getting her dressed in the morning, and just send her to daycare in her jammies...it is just easier than fighting with her. I'd add that she'll likely be a handful in her teen years, but who really knows. She is a handful now, but she definitely makes our lives interesting. She has been spreading rumors at daycare that we have a new baby at home, but that it is teeny tiny. News to us! Perhaps she knows something that we don't (though really she doesn't!). She is actually sitting on the computer desk as I type this right now, she is asking me to read the invitation for her brother's birthday party that was sitting on the desk. Does this say Happy J Birthday? She is so cute.
The House/Remodel
We finally got new furniture for the house this spring. It feels nice to have real grown up furniture in our new space. Of course the remodel never really ends. We have plans to tackle the worst of the landscaping issues this summer...maybe if we make effort.
What else?
I'm not sure what else I should update my blog readers about. If you have any questions for me post them in the comments and I'll try to respond!
4.01.2008
A Stitch in Time
Sunday began like any other Sunday would. The kids watched some television, I lingered in front of the computer with my coffee, and T slept in. The laundry got done, my run got accomplished, the bathrooms got cleaned, and we even managed to make it to the park to enjoy our spring-like temps. The kids got to try flying kites for the first time ever, and aside from the fact that The Boy’s kite wouldn’t get airborne we had a good time.
The afternoon and evening were less enjoyable. The Girl wouldn’t nap, which made me cranky, and The Boy was busy pouting about everything. We did manage a fairly good dinner though, which I quickly followed with a trip to the grocery store to get milk. The rest of the evening was not so fun. The Boy pushed The Girl, which caused her to trip over a shoe and land with her face on the corner of a bench. ER visit number one resulted in stitches for The Girl. Her first ever stitches, and my first ever viewing of stitching of skin took place.
We got home, and I put the kids to bed. After finishing the bedtime ritual I found that the dinner dishes were still sitting on the table. I began cleaning things in a huff, T pitched in, and we were nearly finished when I managed to slice my right index finger with the steak knife I was washing. ER visit number two resulted in 5 stitches on my finger, a tetanus shot in my left arm, and not getting home until 12:30 AM on my birthday. Thankfully T’s parents came to stay with the kids for ER visit number two, because the 3 hour wait would not have been enjoyable with two cranky children in tow.
I can think of better ways to start off a birthday, but at least it is over. I will spare you the picture of my finger.
I can think of better ways to start off a birthday, but at least it is over. I will spare you the picture of my finger.
3.24.2008
Happy Easter
Ahhh Easter, spring time, birds chirping, bulbs popping up, snow melting, er falling
At least we could make snowmen
The winter that would not end
At least we could pretend it was spring last week
3.20.2008
A pet
I have made short sighted statements in the past regarding our lack of pets. I hope to keep us pet-free because I just don’t want to deal with the maintenance of a pet right now. Two children under the age of five is enough work for me thankyouverymuch. I’m still not completely over the loss of our dog several years ago, and honestly don’t want to start another relationship with an animal that could end badly. The Boy, on the other hand, is full of life and love for nature. He comes home from daycare or preschool almost every day with a new idea for a proposed pet. A few weeks ago he asked me if he could have snails. I said NO before he had time to finish his sentence. He sobbed uncontrollably for a long time.
A few days after the snail question he came home from daycare with a glass jar filled with a few ants. Um, okay. We told him that the ants needed to live outside so they got some fresh air. He agreed. The ants were dead by morning. A few days later he came home with even more ants, and insisted that they had to live inside our house or they would die outside in the cold. We relented, how could we punish his ants to death knowingly? The ants were dead by the middle of the next day. The Boy is undeterred by the death of his much loved pets; he keeps trying to catch more bugs.
In a lack of reasoning I offered to help him get tadpoles from the pond when it gets warm enough. He received a bug/frog habitat for his birthday last year, and I told him it could serve as a home for his tadpoles. He was very excited about the prospect of having many frogs as pets; until I told him that we would have to let the frogs go when they emerged (I’m not really counting on frogs emerging given how much The Boy likes to alter the not-so-natural environment they would live in). He was still happy about the idea that he would get a pet though so I thought we had dodged a bullet.
Apparently I was wrong about dodging the bullet though. Upon my arrival to pick the kids up from daycare yesterday I was TOLD that The Boy (by The Boy) was bringing home FIVE snails. He held them up, in their sad little Dixie cup filled with water, so I could see them. I said NO. He threw a fit of epic proportions. He hit me, he pushed me, he tried to kick me. I put him in a time-out, and hoped that he would calm down. He did not. I ended up getting The Girl ready to go home and then physically forcing The Boy to leave with us. He sobbed uncontrollably until we got close to home. I managed to make him laugh, apparently all was forgiven.
I have a feeling that this story isn’t really over. Any guesses as to what the next pet will be?
A few days after the snail question he came home from daycare with a glass jar filled with a few ants. Um, okay. We told him that the ants needed to live outside so they got some fresh air. He agreed. The ants were dead by morning. A few days later he came home with even more ants, and insisted that they had to live inside our house or they would die outside in the cold. We relented, how could we punish his ants to death knowingly? The ants were dead by the middle of the next day. The Boy is undeterred by the death of his much loved pets; he keeps trying to catch more bugs.
In a lack of reasoning I offered to help him get tadpoles from the pond when it gets warm enough. He received a bug/frog habitat for his birthday last year, and I told him it could serve as a home for his tadpoles. He was very excited about the prospect of having many frogs as pets; until I told him that we would have to let the frogs go when they emerged (I’m not really counting on frogs emerging given how much The Boy likes to alter the not-so-natural environment they would live in). He was still happy about the idea that he would get a pet though so I thought we had dodged a bullet.
Apparently I was wrong about dodging the bullet though. Upon my arrival to pick the kids up from daycare yesterday I was TOLD that The Boy (by The Boy) was bringing home FIVE snails. He held them up, in their sad little Dixie cup filled with water, so I could see them. I said NO. He threw a fit of epic proportions. He hit me, he pushed me, he tried to kick me. I put him in a time-out, and hoped that he would calm down. He did not. I ended up getting The Girl ready to go home and then physically forcing The Boy to leave with us. He sobbed uncontrollably until we got close to home. I managed to make him laugh, apparently all was forgiven.
I have a feeling that this story isn’t really over. Any guesses as to what the next pet will be?
3.12.2008
A quick check in
I have bloggers block. I have nothing interesting to write about so I continue my long streak of not blogging at all. Even worse is that I've completely stopped reading other blogs. It is shocking, but I won't even open my Google Reader because I am overwhelmed by the number of unread posts that will appear. I plan to post more regularly again, but I think it will take me a few tries to get back up on the horse.
1.31.2008
A token January post
There are no excuses, I've just been absent. Work is busier than ever before blah blah blah blah blah. I will spare you the details. My Mom informed me that there was no new content here, which I knew but it served as a reminder that I should try to revive this poor neglected blog. I have thoughts of just completely giving up on it. I get a fair amount of hits when I am active here, but I'm not sure that is enough for me to keep writing here. I had lots of ideas for posts in the beginning, but now nothing comes to me, or rather things come to me but I find that I just don't expend the energy to post them.
I actually had grand ideas of starting a second blog devoted to the working/traveling Mom, but I seriously don't know how I would manage another blog since I can't manage this one. I'm on night number four of this business trip. It has been long. I miss the kids. I miss T. I miss my own home and my routines. The positive thought for tonight is that I get to go home tomorrow. I'll get to see the kids in person rather than through the grainy webcam Skype call. That thought gets me through, makes me smile, and makes me push through the trip. I think I need to travel again this month, but it will be a much shorter trip. There is a light at the end of the tunnel though. I think I will find a way off of the traveling road eventually, but I'm not there yet.
I actually had grand ideas of starting a second blog devoted to the working/traveling Mom, but I seriously don't know how I would manage another blog since I can't manage this one. I'm on night number four of this business trip. It has been long. I miss the kids. I miss T. I miss my own home and my routines. The positive thought for tonight is that I get to go home tomorrow. I'll get to see the kids in person rather than through the grainy webcam Skype call. That thought gets me through, makes me smile, and makes me push through the trip. I think I need to travel again this month, but it will be a much shorter trip. There is a light at the end of the tunnel though. I think I will find a way off of the traveling road eventually, but I'm not there yet.
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