A Stitch in Time

Sunday began like any other Sunday would. The kids watched some television, I lingered in front of the computer with my coffee, and T slept in. The laundry got done, my run got accomplished, the bathrooms got cleaned, and we even managed to make it to the park to enjoy our spring-like temps. The kids got to try flying kites for the first time ever, and aside from the fact that The Boy’s kite wouldn’t get airborne we had a good time.

The afternoon and evening were less enjoyable. The Girl wouldn’t nap, which made me cranky, and The Boy was busy pouting about everything. We did manage a fairly good dinner though, which I quickly followed with a trip to the grocery store to get milk. The rest of the evening was not so fun. The Boy pushed The Girl, which caused her to trip over a shoe and land with her face on the corner of a bench. ER visit number one resulted in stitches for The Girl. Her first ever stitches, and my first ever viewing of stitching of skin took place.

We got home, and I put the kids to bed. After finishing the bedtime ritual I found that the dinner dishes were still sitting on the table. I began cleaning things in a huff, T pitched in, and we were nearly finished when I managed to slice my right index finger with the steak knife I was washing. ER visit number two resulted in 5 stitches on my finger, a tetanus shot in my left arm, and not getting home until 12:30 AM on my birthday. Thankfully T’s parents came to stay with the kids for ER visit number two, because the 3 hour wait would not have been enjoyable with two cranky children in tow.

I can think of better ways to start off a birthday, but at least it is over. I will spare you the picture of my finger.

Happy Easter

Ahhh Easter, spring time, birds chirping, bulbs popping up, snow melting, er falling

At least we could make snowmen

The winter that would not end

At least we could pretend it was spring last week

A pet

I have made short sighted statements in the past regarding our lack of pets. I hope to keep us pet-free because I just don’t want to deal with the maintenance of a pet right now. Two children under the age of five is enough work for me thankyouverymuch. I’m still not completely over the loss of our dog several years ago, and honestly don’t want to start another relationship with an animal that could end badly. The Boy, on the other hand, is full of life and love for nature. He comes home from daycare or preschool almost every day with a new idea for a proposed pet. A few weeks ago he asked me if he could have snails. I said NO before he had time to finish his sentence. He sobbed uncontrollably for a long time.

A few days after the snail question he came home from daycare with a glass jar filled with a few ants. Um, okay. We told him that the ants needed to live outside so they got some fresh air. He agreed. The ants were dead by morning. A few days later he came home with even more ants, and insisted that they had to live inside our house or they would die outside in the cold. We relented, how could we punish his ants to death knowingly? The ants were dead by the middle of the next day. The Boy is undeterred by the death of his much loved pets; he keeps trying to catch more bugs.

In a lack of reasoning I offered to help him get tadpoles from the pond when it gets warm enough. He received a bug/frog habitat for his birthday last year, and I told him it could serve as a home for his tadpoles. He was very excited about the prospect of having many frogs as pets; until I told him that we would have to let the frogs go when they emerged (I’m not really counting on frogs emerging given how much The Boy likes to alter the not-so-natural environment they would live in). He was still happy about the idea that he would get a pet though so I thought we had dodged a bullet.

Apparently I was wrong about dodging the bullet though. Upon my arrival to pick the kids up from daycare yesterday I was TOLD that The Boy (by The Boy) was bringing home FIVE snails. He held them up, in their sad little Dixie cup filled with water, so I could see them. I said NO. He threw a fit of epic proportions. He hit me, he pushed me, he tried to kick me. I put him in a time-out, and hoped that he would calm down. He did not. I ended up getting The Girl ready to go home and then physically forcing The Boy to leave with us. He sobbed uncontrollably until we got close to home. I managed to make him laugh, apparently all was forgiven.

I have a feeling that this story isn’t really over. Any guesses as to what the next pet will be?

A quick check in

I have bloggers block. I have nothing interesting to write about so I continue my long streak of not blogging at all. Even worse is that I've completely stopped reading other blogs. It is shocking, but I won't even open my Google Reader because I am overwhelmed by the number of unread posts that will appear. I plan to post more regularly again, but I think it will take me a few tries to get back up on the horse.

A token January post

There are no excuses, I've just been absent. Work is busier than ever before blah blah blah blah blah. I will spare you the details. My Mom informed me that there was no new content here, which I knew but it served as a reminder that I should try to revive this poor neglected blog. I have thoughts of just completely giving up on it. I get a fair amount of hits when I am active here, but I'm not sure that is enough for me to keep writing here. I had lots of ideas for posts in the beginning, but now nothing comes to me, or rather things come to me but I find that I just don't expend the energy to post them.

I actually had grand ideas of starting a second blog devoted to the working/traveling Mom, but I seriously don't know how I would manage another blog since I can't manage this one. I'm on night number four of this business trip. It has been long. I miss the kids. I miss T. I miss my own home and my routines. The positive thought for tonight is that I get to go home tomorrow. I'll get to see the kids in person rather than through the grainy webcam Skype call. That thought gets me through, makes me smile, and makes me push through the trip. I think I need to travel again this month, but it will be a much shorter trip. There is a light at the end of the tunnel though. I think I will find a way off of the traveling road eventually, but I'm not there yet.

Finding the joy again

This is the first year in many when I haven’t felt completely overwhelmed by the idea of Christmas looming in the distance. There have always been elaborate check lists of things that need to be done, gifts that need to be purchased, events that need to be attended, etc. While we still have all of that, for some odd reason this year I am not stressed out about it. I’m not even really done with my Christmas shopping, but yet I haven’t put much energy into what is left outstanding on my lists.

I’m not sure what I did differently this year. I have started listening to Christmas music in the car, and I have been thoroughly enjoying watching the kids react to everything that is Christmas. I’m looking forward to my Mom arriving this Friday and even more so to having her around Christmas morning to watch the kids react to the completely overblown morning of opening presents and playing with new toys. I’m no longer looking at all things Christmas as an obligation, but rather as an exciting opportunity to witness pure joy from my kids.

I am not trying to have a perfect Christmas, but rather I am trying to enjoy Christmas. I will not be spending the entire Christmas day cooking in the kitchen for the house full of company we are expecting, but there will be good food to eat. We will not have a formal sit down dinner, because that is not what we enjoy. In fact the idea of a formal sit down dinner gives me chills and raises my heart rate, but the idea of people grabbing their own food and eating buffet style makes me happy. I think life is too short to suffer through a formal meal simply because it is what you think you should do. I also think it is a shame to miss all of the joy and excitement of Christmas because you need to cook a mountain of side dishes.

It is really nice to be anticipating Christmas rather than begrudging it. I hope this gift I’ve given myself lasts for the rest of my life. It is nice to be able to say that I like Christmas and really mean it.

It's a Jib Jab Life

Yes, I am wasting a bunch of time this fine morning.

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Snowball fight

I didn't spend too much time making the heads look right for this movie, but it is still pretty funny. Enjoy!

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

The card

I decided to make Christmas cards after all. I spent the bulk of yesterday evening working on the outside photo portion, and then spent the bulk of tonight working on the inside. I think it turned out pretty well. T thinks that the inside verse is cheesy, but well he didn't make them so I'm discounting his opinion *pbbt*.

So I give you the oustide of the card (click to get a larger image):


and the inside of the card:

To card or not to card

T and I have been married for 10 years. We have sent out Christmas cards each and every one of those years. The first card was a photo card with a wedding picture of us on it. In the years after that and before we had kids I think there was one other photo card in the mix (a picture of us with our then dog). Since The Boy was born we have sent a photo card in some shape or form. I’ve made a few of the cards myself, taking a snapshot of The Boy and editing it to make it stand out in some way. The last two years I was organized enough to schedule photo shoots with a professional photographer, so we used cards from her. This year I haven’t given it much thought. I was living in bliss pretending that I wasn’t going to let the idea of Christmas cards haunt me, that we would just skip it this year. That was until I started getting Christmas cards in the mail.

Now I find myself daydreaming at work, wondering what fun idea I can come up with for homemade photo cards. I do have an ample supply of cardstock, and the 4x6 photo printer to draw from. I just need some inspiration. Sometimes I can just look through pictures of the kids and it will hit me, but not this year. I like making photo cards of the kids, but I can’t just send a random picture, I feel the need to show off my mad Photoshop skills. The card is a vehicle to show off my

incredibly cute children, and to show that I do have some creativity crammed inside of my analytical head. So much self-imposed pressure wrapped up into a Christmas card *sigh*.

I asked T whether he cares if we send Christmas cards this year, and he answered with a resounding NO. I knew all along that the cards were my thing, but he confirmed it for me. Part of me does want to skip the whole rigmarole, but another part loves getting cards from friends and family and wants to keep up the tradition. I tend to get really wrapped up in my work, the house, the kids, T, and I forget to take the time to tend to my old friendships. Sometimes the card at Christmas is the only contact we have with some of our friends, and I guess I like holding onto the past. Even though life has changed and we’ve grown apart from some friends, I still do wish them well, and want to remember them around the holidays. I guess I’ve just answered for myself; to card it is…now to find some inspiration quickly.

Extended Calves

I've never liked that term. I am the proud owner of big old muscular calves. Even if managed to shrink from my current size 6 frame I would still be the proud owner of big old muscular calves. It is a blessing and a curse. For the most part I don't mind my calves, they are what they are, and I don't put much thought into wishing they were smaller. The one exception is when I see someone wearing big tall boots. I get a little twinge of envy. I start remembering the shopping trip with my two girlfriends to find me a pair of tall boots.

I didn't buy any boots that day. I must have tried on at least 10 pairs of boots, but none of them fit over my monstrous calves. I was deflated. I wanted my slut boots, but the gods were telling me to go back home and forget about it.

Oh sure I could have just ordered a nice pair of Extended Calf boots, because at that point I couldn't find any such animal in the stores. I didn't want to buy boots by mail order, I wanted to try them on first. It was a huge buzz kill. I wanted those boots, was convinced I needed them, but was left with a horrible taste in my mouth when I couldn't find any that fit.

Now it is at least 6 or maybe 7 years later and I still don't have any slut boots. I still want some. I think I've gotten over the extended calf name now, and can live with the fact that I can't fit into normal boots. What I really want to know is do the rest of you really have calves that are so tiny??? I mean my calves aren't that big. Do you have trouble standing for long periods of time? I mean obviously I must need that chunk of muscle for something, so what is my genetic advantage doing for me? It must be an advantage right?

Angel on the treadmill

It is winter here in the frozen north. We've gotten enough snow this week that I have traded in my morning outdoor runs for morning treadmill runs. Truth be told I've been intermingling treadmill runs in my routine for about a month, because sometimes it is just too cold to run outside...and dark. I used to just settle for watching the local news while on the treadmill, it is okay but they repeat themselves every 15 minutes or so which gets old.

A while back I was flipping through channels and settled on Angel on TNT. I had one brief stint in time of watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so I wasn't unfamiliar with Angel. I decided it was worth a shot, and now I am hooked. I now spend less time slurping my pre-run coffee and checking email because I want to get down to the treadmill so I can see more of Angel. It seems to be on at 5 AM and 6 AM each and every weekday morning. I typically catch the end of the 5 AM show, and the beginning of the 6 AM show. This is okay, but it leaves me with big blanks in the happenings of the show. Thankfully they do a good job of recapping previous shows at the beginning of episodes, but I still have to piece together many details. I also have to endure really long commercial breaks, which isn't ideal.

So what is a girl to do? I could buy Angel seasons on DVD, but I don't think I would want to watch them multiple times. I think the better solution is to get a netflix subscription so I can rent Angel seasons, and then other shows when I'm done with Angel...I should start with Buffy I suppose....Charmed looks interesting to fill this treadmill viewing need too. The other option would be to get a second DVR so I can watch recorded shows in the basement, so many choices to make and so much of my cheapness to set in and stop all of them...I predict more parts of shows with plenty of commercials in my future.

We interrupt this show

My kids lead very sheltered lives. They watch the majority of their TV shows from recordings on our DVR, PBS kids live, sometimes Playhouse Disney live, and very occasionally Noggin live. All of these formats share the common thread of no commercials during the actual shows. They all have their own little versions of commercials in between shows, but there are typically no show interruptions to contend with.

This holiday season we've been letting the kids watch Christmas special shows on Live network television, with *gasp* commercials. As soon as a commercial comes on The Girl screams "I don't like this show," and is quite upset, assuming we have changed the channel without her approval. The Boy has caught on, he used to protest similarly, now he just says "it's just a commercial."

Excuses, Who needs excuses?

I have been absent from this blog. I blame work. I blame the kids. I blame everything else in my life, oh and I blame myself. I have no good excuses, just the fact that work has stepped up to an entirely new level of busy in the past few months. I have very little downtime at work. I've had to stop (mostly) surfing my message board addictions, and forget about posting on them. After the kids are asleep for the night I find that I have no witty banter left in me, and I never feel much like just writing something for the sake of filling up space (no offence to all of you NoBloPo folks but frankly your posts every single frick'n day of November were not always up to your usual standards...not that I had time to read all of them). I decided that while everyone else was posting every day of November I would post very few days of November, you know to balance things out. Okay I didn't really think that through, but in hindsight it sounds probable.

I will try to post more this month, but I've also decided to try to make my default (meaning that I can do that distance on autopilot) 4 mile runs turn into default 5 mile runs this winter and if I have to pick one goal I think the running one will win.

Rookie mistakes

The Boy started preschool this year. It has been an interesting time. The first few weeks he was completely thrilled with school, asking every day if it was a school day. We were excited because he seemed to be flourishing. Then he started not wanting to go to school. T came home one day (after picking The Boy and his carpool buddy up from preschool) and told me that the teachers were concerned because The Boy had been “sad” that day. I picked him up the next time, and his main teacher expressed the same concern to me. There was talk of a special program The Boy could participate in, a program that involved being pulled out of his class for ten minutes a time, to work on his “self-esteem.”

My knee jerk reaction was to be appalled by the program. The whole point of him being in a big group preschool was for him to get used to a group of kids his age. His self esteem is fine. We talked about it for a while and decided that my knee jerk reaction was right for him. We didn’t sign the permission slip and there has been no mention of it since. There has, however, been mention of the teacher with the “mean voice” from The Boy. It seems that one of the teachers is a bit too forceful for our sensitive little guy to handle. He is afraid of her. I was so impressed that he was able to articulate his fears to me that I made the mistake of focusing on them way too much. I think what I effectively did was to validate his fears and enforce them. I’m such a rookie.

We had a week of The Boy refusing to ride with his carpool (to get from daycare to preschool), and now we are at a point of asking our DCP to help physically force him into the carpool vehicle. At school he is fine. He has a great time. When we pick him up he is all smiles and will profess that he loves school…until it is preschool day again. Tomorrow is another preschool day, and my guess is that he will tell me that he wants to stay at daycare instead of going to school. I will ignore and redirect and tell me that he will have lots of fun at preschool, remind him of all of the fun crafts they do there, and grit my teeth and hope that today is the day he remembers how fun school is.

Rookie mistakes, how many more do you think I can make this year?

Super Why the costume

I just had to share the great success we had with the Super Why costume. T's Mom made the costume basically from scratch, and without a pattern. We couldn't find green pajamas, though after reading the comments on my Super Why post we might have been able to find a solution...the unitards would be perfect but then $50 is A LOT for a part of a Halloween costume no? My handiwork was limited to scrounging a SuperWhy graphic from the PBS kids website, and printing it onto iron on paper (T ironed it on because I got performance anxiety). The Boy had a long sleeved blue shirt already so it became the under layer, otherwise the costume is all thanks to T's fabulous Mom. We love you!

So without further ado, here is The Boy modeling his Super Why costume at his daycare Halloween party last night:

If you are looking for Super Why costume ideas please see this post, that I have added after getting many comments here and emails about this subject.

And well because she is so darn cute as a cowgirl (She insists Jessie from Toy Story 2):

A traveling Mom

It is my last night away from home this week. I miss my own bed, my kids, my husband, and just being able to change into comfy yoga pants upon finishing my work day.

Sometimes I let myself slip into the mode of a non traveling working Mom, but then I am jolted back to reality with a 3 night (really 4 nights away from the kids) trip. It is on these trips, these lonely nights in hotel rooms, that I start to consider looking for another job. Certainly there are good things about my job, but how do I get past the fact that the travel is ever present? It is like a threat that is constantly hanging over my head. I live in fear of the next project that will take me away from my children for several nights in many different stretches. It is part of my job. It is part of my life, but it is a part of my life that can sometimes take long vacations. When I'm on vacation from traveling I become the normal working Mom who just has to juggle the normal working mom stuff, and I really like my life. I like working. I like being with my kids in the morning and the evening (well sometimes those mornings can still be a bit hectic and drive me a little crazy). Then a trip appears on my calendar, and the dread sets in.

My husband is fabulous, he never complains about my travel, or the fact that he has to shoulder all of the childcare while I am gone. Sometimes I wish he would complain just a little bit though. I wish he didn't make it so easy for me to travel. I don't prep things for him. I don't make a list of things that need to be done, I don't set out clothing for the kids. I know he can handle it, and that the kids will be fed and happy (though they might not get vegetables with dinner). I just take care of me, and go. I call each night to check in with him and talk to the kids, sometimes we Skype with the webcams, sometimes we just talk. I can see them at home just having a normal evening, a normal evening that I want to be part of. I'm not missing any milestones. I'm not scarring my children for life. I am just missing the day-to-day. You simply cannot connect with a four year old and a two year old over the phone the same way you can in person. Even with the benefit of the webcam it isn't the same. I am not there. I cannot kiss their heads, smooth The Boy's soft soft hair with my hand, cuddle with The Girl, rock her before bed, pretend to sit on her when she scurries into her bedroom and climbs up into the rocking chair in the dark all the while giggling and waiting for me to say "where is she? Why is this seat so lumpy? Oh there she is!", come back into The Boy's room to give him one more big squish. I miss the normal stuff.

I know I am not the only traveling Mom out there. I'd like to be a beacon of hope to other traveling Moms, or at least get to the point that the prospect of travel doesn't fill me with dread. I don't know how to get there though. Is it possible to travel for work frequently without letting it get you down? How do all of those traveling Dad's cope? Is it just too different to compare?

Searching for inspiration

I’ve ready many blog posts in this spirit, and since I am struggling for inspiration lately I thought I would create one of my own. I was reading through the keywords that brought people to my blog, and wanted to share a few with you.

Babysitter calculator – Also babysitting rate calculator, babysitting calculator, how much to pay a babysitter, babysitter pay calculator, baby sitter rate calculator, babysitter rate calculator, how much to pay a babysitter per hour…I could go on for a few more paragraphs though my absolute favorite is: what to pay a one time babysitter – is that like a one night stand, it sounds kind of dirty.

Johnny and the sprites songs – see also Johnny and the sprites theme song or “Johnny and the sprites” theme song, and perhaps goofy sprites, Johnny and the sprites minnie show, Johnny and the sprites pictures, and my favorite: Johnny and the sprites horrible. I think the bounce rate was pretty high for most of those searches. Sorry, I guess my Johnny and the Sprites hatred isn’t shared by everyone.

“b cup” padded – hmmm I only wish I could still claim to be that size.

“leave the door open” pee – um okay, see also: blog modesty pee – 100% bounce rate…I guess I wasn’t exactly what that searcher had in mind…though I have no idea what you’d be looking for with that search. There was also: peeing with the door open – you too?

Are hot tubs trashy? – Well not necessarily but I suppose if you filled one with cigarette butts as my kids like to do they can be.

Drain hot tub when going on vacation – but then how will you attract a good housesitter?

How hot can hottub water be for a 10 month old baby? – I say just leave the baby out of the hot tub; he will probably just pee in it anyway.

Biting siblings 4 years old – there is no better activity

How to cook beef jerky fast – I think you just go to the store and buy it, aside from that I say just don’t bother

Slim-fast running – If you can keep down a can of slim-fast while running I admire you, I’m pretty sure it would make me vomit.

The best treadmilling shoes – just in case you don’t know, ‘treadmilling’ is not a real word.

www .you tub .com – Is this a spin-off from YouTube? I don’t want to think about the target audience of YouTub.

Okay there are many more, but I’ve grown bored with this activity.

Super Why!

Move over Tyrone, Tasha, Uniqua, Austin, and Pablo, you’ve been replaced as the most beloved in our DVR line-up. Super Whyatt (not my spelling error) has come to town, and The Boy is in love with him. He has figured out how to run the DVR on his own, and can make Super Why appear on a whim. We have had to correct him several times, insisting that he must get permission from us before he watches a television show. It is a little cute, a little disturbing, and a little weird for me to see him so obsessed with something. He has never been one to fixate on one thing for a prolonged period (well he has held on rather strongly to the notion that if he asks for something for Christmas it will appear under our tree Christmas morning…boy is he going to be disappointed when he doesn’t get the 5000 things he has asked for already).

T’s Mom is busy making The Boy a Super Why costume for Halloween, which has me hunting for plain green knit pajamas (which apparently don’t exist). The Boy is adamant that the costume be green with a BLUE cape, and that he have a green mask for over his eyes. He even made himself a “super computer” at daycare last week. An old cigar box with buttons (as in buttons from clothing) glued inside did the trick for him. He also begged his daycare provider to give him some letters so he could spell Super Why. Our DCP is not big on doing letter drills with the kids, since her daycare is modeled after a Waldorf style of play centered activities, but she did end up digging up some letters after he prodded her for a few days. He promptly found a “W” and a “Y” and told her that he just needed an “H” so he could spell Super Why. This is the same boy who got mad at me just a few months ago when I tried to get him to say the alphabet. He is now walking around saying “Ta ta, teeee, wuh, wuh, double-u.”

I have to say that I really believe that most of this is coming from just watching Super Why (albeit every single day). He did start preschool this year, but as far as I can tell they do not do any sort of letter drills just yet. It is shocking that a PBS show can really teach kids when they are ready for it (The Girl is not as big on the show…and would prefer to be watching The Backyardigans or Curious George, or anything else). Of course he has been playing on starfall occasionally for a few months, so perhaps the Super Why is just reinforcing things he has seen before…in a much more fun way. I guess it is okay for him to be focused on reading right now, even if it wasn’t my intent to force it upon him so soon. I really do want him to just be a kid, and to learn through play before classroom learning comes and takes the fun out of everything. I’m all at once happy that he is making such progress and sad that my little boy is getting sucked into the world of phonics.

Comfortably numb

I know that when the kids are behaving horribly it only makes matters worse when I get angry. If I get angry, they sense it, and their behavior gets worse. I know this yet, sometimes I find myself in that cycle of increasing anger anyway. When your children wake you up at 4:30 AM, and you are all over tired and miserable it is hard to behave rationally. The children are crabby, and more prone to horrible behavior, and I am less likely to deal with the horrible behavior in a good way.

It is on days like those when I want to be the one who leaves for work first, the one who doesn’t have to get the kids from a state of pajamas and empty tummies, to one of daycare appropriate clothing and at least partially filled tummies. I want to be the one who doesn’t have to fight with the children to get them into the car. I want to be the one who can calmly tell me later “you shouldn’t let it get to you so much.” I want to be the one who thinks first about his need to get to work, and how much work he needs to accomplish this day, rather than about the hundreds of little things that need to be done for the children and for the household. I want to be the one who calls home at 5:30 PM and asks if I’ve already picked up the kids from daycare (daycare that closes at 5:30 PM). I want to be the one who can work from 7 AM until 6 PM with no thought of how my children got from their beds to daycare and back home again. I want to be the one whose job comes first, whose job is more important, and who’s simply not able to leave work after working for 8 hours. I want to be the one who can come home and eat dinner and then sit on the couch reading a book until one of the children or I make him engage the family in some way. I want to be the one who the children scream “Not you, only Mommy can do it” at when I try to help them. I want to be the one who can turn off all things family while I’m at work. I want to be the one who doesn’t have to worry about how all of that yelling in the morning is shaping our children negatively. I want to disengage at will.

I want all of it, or at least I would want it, until I had it for five minutes.

PS. To lighten the mood a bit, I just have to post a shout out to my Mom. Happy 60th Birthday Mom! I hope you are having a fabulous time in Vegas with my dear brother and his dear wife, can't wait to see you next month!