The Boy started preschool this year. It has been an interesting time. The first few weeks he was completely thrilled with school, asking every day if it was a school day. We were excited because he seemed to be flourishing. Then he started not wanting to go to school. T came home one day (after picking The Boy and his carpool buddy up from preschool) and told me that the teachers were concerned because The Boy had been “sad” that day. I picked him up the next time, and his main teacher expressed the same concern to me. There was talk of a special program The Boy could participate in, a program that involved being pulled out of his class for ten minutes a time, to work on his “self-esteem.”
My knee jerk reaction was to be appalled by the program. The whole point of him being in a big group preschool was for him to get used to a group of kids his age. His self esteem is fine. We talked about it for a while and decided that my knee jerk reaction was right for him. We didn’t sign the permission slip and there has been no mention of it since. There has, however, been mention of the teacher with the “mean voice” from The Boy. It seems that one of the teachers is a bit too forceful for our sensitive little guy to handle. He is afraid of her. I was so impressed that he was able to articulate his fears to me that I made the mistake of focusing on them way too much. I think what I effectively did was to validate his fears and enforce them. I’m such a rookie.
We had a week of The Boy refusing to ride with his carpool (to get from daycare to preschool), and now we are at a point of asking our DCP to help physically force him into the carpool vehicle. At school he is fine. He has a great time. When we pick him up he is all smiles and will profess that he loves school…until it is preschool day again. Tomorrow is another preschool day, and my guess is that he will tell me that he wants to stay at daycare instead of going to school. I will ignore and redirect and tell me that he will have lots of fun at preschool, remind him of all of the fun crafts they do there, and grit my teeth and hope that today is the day he remembers how fun school is.
Rookie mistakes, how many more do you think I can make this year?
11.12.2007
10.30.2007
Super Why the costume
I just had to share the great success we had with the Super Why costume. T's Mom made the costume basically from scratch, and without a pattern. We couldn't find green pajamas, though after reading the comments on my Super Why post we might have been able to find a solution...the unitards would be perfect but then $50 is A LOT for a part of a Halloween costume no? My handiwork was limited to scrounging a SuperWhy graphic from the PBS kids website, and printing it onto iron on paper (T ironed it on because I got performance anxiety). The Boy had a long sleeved blue shirt already so it became the under layer, otherwise the costume is all thanks to T's fabulous Mom. We love you!
So without further ado, here is The Boy modeling his Super Why costume at his daycare Halloween party last night:
If you are looking for Super Why costume ideas please see this post, that I have added after getting many comments here and emails about this subject.
And well because she is so darn cute as a cowgirl (She insists Jessie from Toy Story 2):
So without further ado, here is The Boy modeling his Super Why costume at his daycare Halloween party last night:
If you are looking for Super Why costume ideas please see this post, that I have added after getting many comments here and emails about this subject.
And well because she is so darn cute as a cowgirl (She insists Jessie from Toy Story 2):
10.17.2007
A traveling Mom
It is my last night away from home this week. I miss my own bed, my kids, my husband, and just being able to change into comfy yoga pants upon finishing my work day.
Sometimes I let myself slip into the mode of a non traveling working Mom, but then I am jolted back to reality with a 3 night (really 4 nights away from the kids) trip. It is on these trips, these lonely nights in hotel rooms, that I start to consider looking for another job. Certainly there are good things about my job, but how do I get past the fact that the travel is ever present? It is like a threat that is constantly hanging over my head. I live in fear of the next project that will take me away from my children for several nights in many different stretches. It is part of my job. It is part of my life, but it is a part of my life that can sometimes take long vacations. When I'm on vacation from traveling I become the normal working Mom who just has to juggle the normal working mom stuff, and I really like my life. I like working. I like being with my kids in the morning and the evening (well sometimes those mornings can still be a bit hectic and drive me a little crazy). Then a trip appears on my calendar, and the dread sets in.
My husband is fabulous, he never complains about my travel, or the fact that he has to shoulder all of the childcare while I am gone. Sometimes I wish he would complain just a little bit though. I wish he didn't make it so easy for me to travel. I don't prep things for him. I don't make a list of things that need to be done, I don't set out clothing for the kids. I know he can handle it, and that the kids will be fed and happy (though they might not get vegetables with dinner). I just take care of me, and go. I call each night to check in with him and talk to the kids, sometimes we Skype with the webcams, sometimes we just talk. I can see them at home just having a normal evening, a normal evening that I want to be part of. I'm not missing any milestones. I'm not scarring my children for life. I am just missing the day-to-day. You simply cannot connect with a four year old and a two year old over the phone the same way you can in person. Even with the benefit of the webcam it isn't the same. I am not there. I cannot kiss their heads, smooth The Boy's soft soft hair with my hand, cuddle with The Girl, rock her before bed, pretend to sit on her when she scurries into her bedroom and climbs up into the rocking chair in the dark all the while giggling and waiting for me to say "where is she? Why is this seat so lumpy? Oh there she is!", come back into The Boy's room to give him one more big squish. I miss the normal stuff.
I know I am not the only traveling Mom out there. I'd like to be a beacon of hope to other traveling Moms, or at least get to the point that the prospect of travel doesn't fill me with dread. I don't know how to get there though. Is it possible to travel for work frequently without letting it get you down? How do all of those traveling Dad's cope? Is it just too different to compare?
Sometimes I let myself slip into the mode of a non traveling working Mom, but then I am jolted back to reality with a 3 night (really 4 nights away from the kids) trip. It is on these trips, these lonely nights in hotel rooms, that I start to consider looking for another job. Certainly there are good things about my job, but how do I get past the fact that the travel is ever present? It is like a threat that is constantly hanging over my head. I live in fear of the next project that will take me away from my children for several nights in many different stretches. It is part of my job. It is part of my life, but it is a part of my life that can sometimes take long vacations. When I'm on vacation from traveling I become the normal working Mom who just has to juggle the normal working mom stuff, and I really like my life. I like working. I like being with my kids in the morning and the evening (well sometimes those mornings can still be a bit hectic and drive me a little crazy). Then a trip appears on my calendar, and the dread sets in.
My husband is fabulous, he never complains about my travel, or the fact that he has to shoulder all of the childcare while I am gone. Sometimes I wish he would complain just a little bit though. I wish he didn't make it so easy for me to travel. I don't prep things for him. I don't make a list of things that need to be done, I don't set out clothing for the kids. I know he can handle it, and that the kids will be fed and happy (though they might not get vegetables with dinner). I just take care of me, and go. I call each night to check in with him and talk to the kids, sometimes we Skype with the webcams, sometimes we just talk. I can see them at home just having a normal evening, a normal evening that I want to be part of. I'm not missing any milestones. I'm not scarring my children for life. I am just missing the day-to-day. You simply cannot connect with a four year old and a two year old over the phone the same way you can in person. Even with the benefit of the webcam it isn't the same. I am not there. I cannot kiss their heads, smooth The Boy's soft soft hair with my hand, cuddle with The Girl, rock her before bed, pretend to sit on her when she scurries into her bedroom and climbs up into the rocking chair in the dark all the while giggling and waiting for me to say "where is she? Why is this seat so lumpy? Oh there she is!", come back into The Boy's room to give him one more big squish. I miss the normal stuff.
I know I am not the only traveling Mom out there. I'd like to be a beacon of hope to other traveling Moms, or at least get to the point that the prospect of travel doesn't fill me with dread. I don't know how to get there though. Is it possible to travel for work frequently without letting it get you down? How do all of those traveling Dad's cope? Is it just too different to compare?
10.03.2007
Searching for inspiration
I’ve ready many blog posts in this spirit, and since I am struggling for inspiration lately I thought I would create one of my own. I was reading through the keywords that brought people to my blog, and wanted to share a few with you.
Babysitter calculator – Also babysitting rate calculator, babysitting calculator, how much to pay a babysitter, babysitter pay calculator, baby sitter rate calculator, babysitter rate calculator, how much to pay a babysitter per hour…I could go on for a few more paragraphs though my absolute favorite is: what to pay a one time babysitter – is that like a one night stand, it sounds kind of dirty.
Johnny and the sprites songs – see also Johnny and the sprites theme song or “Johnny and the sprites” theme song, and perhaps goofy sprites, Johnny and the sprites minnie show, Johnny and the sprites pictures, and my favorite: Johnny and the sprites horrible. I think the bounce rate was pretty high for most of those searches. Sorry, I guess my Johnny and the Sprites hatred isn’t shared by everyone.
“b cup” padded – hmmm I only wish I could still claim to be that size.
“leave the door open” pee – um okay, see also: blog modesty pee – 100% bounce rate…I guess I wasn’t exactly what that searcher had in mind…though I have no idea what you’d be looking for with that search. There was also: peeing with the door open – you too?
Are hot tubs trashy? – Well not necessarily but I suppose if you filled one with cigarette butts as my kids like to do they can be.
Drain hot tub when going on vacation – but then how will you attract a good housesitter?
How hot can hottub water be for a 10 month old baby? – I say just leave the baby out of the hot tub; he will probably just pee in it anyway.
Biting siblings 4 years old – there is no better activity
How to cook beef jerky fast – I think you just go to the store and buy it, aside from that I say just don’t bother
Slim-fast running – If you can keep down a can of slim-fast while running I admire you, I’m pretty sure it would make me vomit.
The best treadmilling shoes – just in case you don’t know, ‘treadmilling’ is not a real word.
www .you tub .com – Is this a spin-off from YouTube? I don’t want to think about the target audience of YouTub.
Okay there are many more, but I’ve grown bored with this activity.
Babysitter calculator – Also babysitting rate calculator, babysitting calculator, how much to pay a babysitter, babysitter pay calculator, baby sitter rate calculator, babysitter rate calculator, how much to pay a babysitter per hour…I could go on for a few more paragraphs though my absolute favorite is: what to pay a one time babysitter – is that like a one night stand, it sounds kind of dirty.
Johnny and the sprites songs – see also Johnny and the sprites theme song or “Johnny and the sprites” theme song, and perhaps goofy sprites, Johnny and the sprites minnie show, Johnny and the sprites pictures, and my favorite: Johnny and the sprites horrible. I think the bounce rate was pretty high for most of those searches. Sorry, I guess my Johnny and the Sprites hatred isn’t shared by everyone.
“b cup” padded – hmmm I only wish I could still claim to be that size.
“leave the door open” pee – um okay, see also: blog modesty pee – 100% bounce rate…I guess I wasn’t exactly what that searcher had in mind…though I have no idea what you’d be looking for with that search. There was also: peeing with the door open – you too?
Are hot tubs trashy? – Well not necessarily but I suppose if you filled one with cigarette butts as my kids like to do they can be.
Drain hot tub when going on vacation – but then how will you attract a good housesitter?
How hot can hottub water be for a 10 month old baby? – I say just leave the baby out of the hot tub; he will probably just pee in it anyway.
Biting siblings 4 years old – there is no better activity
How to cook beef jerky fast – I think you just go to the store and buy it, aside from that I say just don’t bother
Slim-fast running – If you can keep down a can of slim-fast while running I admire you, I’m pretty sure it would make me vomit.
The best treadmilling shoes – just in case you don’t know, ‘treadmilling’ is not a real word.
www .you tub .com – Is this a spin-off from YouTube? I don’t want to think about the target audience of YouTub.
Okay there are many more, but I’ve grown bored with this activity.
10.02.2007
Super Why!
Move over Tyrone, Tasha, Uniqua, Austin, and Pablo, you’ve been replaced as the most beloved in our DVR line-up. Super Whyatt (not my spelling error) has come to town, and The Boy is in love with him. He has figured out how to run the DVR on his own, and can make Super Why appear on a whim. We have had to correct him several times, insisting that he must get permission from us before he watches a television show. It is a little cute, a little disturbing, and a little weird for me to see him so obsessed with something. He has never been one to fixate on one thing for a prolonged period (well he has held on rather strongly to the notion that if he asks for something for Christmas it will appear under our tree Christmas morning…boy is he going to be disappointed when he doesn’t get the 5000 things he has asked for already).
T’s Mom is busy making The Boy a Super Why costume for Halloween, which has me hunting for plain green knit pajamas (which apparently don’t exist). The Boy is adamant that the costume be green with a BLUE cape, and that he have a green mask for over his eyes. He even made himself a “super computer” at daycare last week. An old cigar box with buttons (as in buttons from clothing) glued inside did the trick for him. He also begged his daycare provider to give him some letters so he could spell Super Why. Our DCP is not big on doing letter drills with the kids, since her daycare is modeled after a Waldorf style of play centered activities, but she did end up digging up some letters after he prodded her for a few days. He promptly found a “W” and a “Y” and told her that he just needed an “H” so he could spell Super Why. This is the same boy who got mad at me just a few months ago when I tried to get him to say the alphabet. He is now walking around saying “Ta ta, teeee, wuh, wuh, double-u.”
I have to say that I really believe that most of this is coming from just watching Super Why (albeit every single day). He did start preschool this year, but as far as I can tell they do not do any sort of letter drills just yet. It is shocking that a PBS show can really teach kids when they are ready for it (The Girl is not as big on the show…and would prefer to be watching The Backyardigans or Curious George, or anything else). Of course he has been playing on starfall occasionally for a few months, so perhaps the Super Why is just reinforcing things he has seen before…in a much more fun way. I guess it is okay for him to be focused on reading right now, even if it wasn’t my intent to force it upon him so soon. I really do want him to just be a kid, and to learn through play before classroom learning comes and takes the fun out of everything. I’m all at once happy that he is making such progress and sad that my little boy is getting sucked into the world of phonics.
T’s Mom is busy making The Boy a Super Why costume for Halloween, which has me hunting for plain green knit pajamas (which apparently don’t exist). The Boy is adamant that the costume be green with a BLUE cape, and that he have a green mask for over his eyes. He even made himself a “super computer” at daycare last week. An old cigar box with buttons (as in buttons from clothing) glued inside did the trick for him. He also begged his daycare provider to give him some letters so he could spell Super Why. Our DCP is not big on doing letter drills with the kids, since her daycare is modeled after a Waldorf style of play centered activities, but she did end up digging up some letters after he prodded her for a few days. He promptly found a “W” and a “Y” and told her that he just needed an “H” so he could spell Super Why. This is the same boy who got mad at me just a few months ago when I tried to get him to say the alphabet. He is now walking around saying “Ta ta, teeee, wuh, wuh, double-u.”
I have to say that I really believe that most of this is coming from just watching Super Why (albeit every single day). He did start preschool this year, but as far as I can tell they do not do any sort of letter drills just yet. It is shocking that a PBS show can really teach kids when they are ready for it (The Girl is not as big on the show…and would prefer to be watching The Backyardigans or Curious George, or anything else). Of course he has been playing on starfall occasionally for a few months, so perhaps the Super Why is just reinforcing things he has seen before…in a much more fun way. I guess it is okay for him to be focused on reading right now, even if it wasn’t my intent to force it upon him so soon. I really do want him to just be a kid, and to learn through play before classroom learning comes and takes the fun out of everything. I’m all at once happy that he is making such progress and sad that my little boy is getting sucked into the world of phonics.
9.21.2007
Comfortably numb
I know that when the kids are behaving horribly it only makes matters worse when I get angry. If I get angry, they sense it, and their behavior gets worse. I know this yet, sometimes I find myself in that cycle of increasing anger anyway. When your children wake you up at 4:30 AM, and you are all over tired and miserable it is hard to behave rationally. The children are crabby, and more prone to horrible behavior, and I am less likely to deal with the horrible behavior in a good way.
It is on days like those when I want to be the one who leaves for work first, the one who doesn’t have to get the kids from a state of pajamas and empty tummies, to one of daycare appropriate clothing and at least partially filled tummies. I want to be the one who doesn’t have to fight with the children to get them into the car. I want to be the one who can calmly tell me later “you shouldn’t let it get to you so much.” I want to be the one who thinks first about his need to get to work, and how much work he needs to accomplish this day, rather than about the hundreds of little things that need to be done for the children and for the household. I want to be the one who calls home at 5:30 PM and asks if I’ve already picked up the kids from daycare (daycare that closes at 5:30 PM). I want to be the one who can work from 7 AM until 6 PM with no thought of how my children got from their beds to daycare and back home again. I want to be the one whose job comes first, whose job is more important, and who’s simply not able to leave work after working for 8 hours. I want to be the one who can come home and eat dinner and then sit on the couch reading a book until one of the children or I make him engage the family in some way. I want to be the one who the children scream “Not you, only Mommy can do it” at when I try to help them. I want to be the one who can turn off all things family while I’m at work. I want to be the one who doesn’t have to worry about how all of that yelling in the morning is shaping our children negatively. I want to disengage at will.
I want all of it, or at least I would want it, until I had it for five minutes.
PS. To lighten the mood a bit, I just have to post a shout out to my Mom. Happy 60th Birthday Mom! I hope you are having a fabulous time in Vegas with my dear brother and his dear wife, can't wait to see you next month!
It is on days like those when I want to be the one who leaves for work first, the one who doesn’t have to get the kids from a state of pajamas and empty tummies, to one of daycare appropriate clothing and at least partially filled tummies. I want to be the one who doesn’t have to fight with the children to get them into the car. I want to be the one who can calmly tell me later “you shouldn’t let it get to you so much.” I want to be the one who thinks first about his need to get to work, and how much work he needs to accomplish this day, rather than about the hundreds of little things that need to be done for the children and for the household. I want to be the one who calls home at 5:30 PM and asks if I’ve already picked up the kids from daycare (daycare that closes at 5:30 PM). I want to be the one who can work from 7 AM until 6 PM with no thought of how my children got from their beds to daycare and back home again. I want to be the one whose job comes first, whose job is more important, and who’s simply not able to leave work after working for 8 hours. I want to be the one who can come home and eat dinner and then sit on the couch reading a book until one of the children or I make him engage the family in some way. I want to be the one who the children scream “Not you, only Mommy can do it” at when I try to help them. I want to be the one who can turn off all things family while I’m at work. I want to be the one who doesn’t have to worry about how all of that yelling in the morning is shaping our children negatively. I want to disengage at will.
I want all of it, or at least I would want it, until I had it for five minutes.
PS. To lighten the mood a bit, I just have to post a shout out to my Mom. Happy 60th Birthday Mom! I hope you are having a fabulous time in Vegas with my dear brother and his dear wife, can't wait to see you next month!
9.19.2007
Sharing the cuteness
Upper left: The Boy on his first day of school
Upper right: The Girl demonstrates her shirt over her head skills
Bottom row: Hanging at the zoo
9.18.2007
Give me a boost(er seat)
The Boy is four years old, and just maybe a pound or two shy of 40 pounds. Our current carseat situation includes a grand total of four carseats (make that five with the one we purchased yesterday evening). We have a pair of Britax Marathons, and a pair of Evenflo Triumph Vs that remain in our vehicles. This pairing has worked well for us since The Girl outgrew her infant bucket seat. We purchased the Marathons because they allow for 5-point harness usage up to 60 pounds.
We had intended to continue using this pairing of carseats until The Girl reached the height/and or weight limit for the Triumph seats, but we now have a snag in that plan. The Boy began preschool last week. He needs to get from daycare to preschool and then from preschool to home two days per week. We were very thankful that another of his daycare mates is in his preschool class, as this meant we could come up with a carpool arrangement. The snag in the carseat paring comes in when we concluded that it just isn’t possible to fit even the tiny portable low-back booster (our fifth carseat) between the two carseats in my 2000 Honda CRV. There isn’t even a shoulder belt in that position so even if we could fit the carseat there it wouldn’t be safe.
We’ve decided to buy The Boy a booster seat to use in my car from here on out. When his buddy is in the car with him, he will ride in the Marathon (which will otherwise become The Girl’s), and she will ride in the booster seat. When he is in the car with his sister he will ride in the booster seat. As we were contemplating this carseat switcheroo I started seeing the memory You Tube video of the little boy who died when his seatbelt failed in my head, but I had to squash it. I just can’t see spending the money on another Marathon at this point. A big part of me really looks forward to The Boy being able to easily fasten his own seat belt in the booster seat…one less kid to strap in sounds downright heavenly to me. Does it make me a bad Mom to not want to deal with a 5-point harness anymore?
We are looking at the Britax Parkway, anyone have it or another you could tell me about?
We had intended to continue using this pairing of carseats until The Girl reached the height/and or weight limit for the Triumph seats, but we now have a snag in that plan. The Boy began preschool last week. He needs to get from daycare to preschool and then from preschool to home two days per week. We were very thankful that another of his daycare mates is in his preschool class, as this meant we could come up with a carpool arrangement. The snag in the carseat paring comes in when we concluded that it just isn’t possible to fit even the tiny portable low-back booster (our fifth carseat) between the two carseats in my 2000 Honda CRV. There isn’t even a shoulder belt in that position so even if we could fit the carseat there it wouldn’t be safe.
We’ve decided to buy The Boy a booster seat to use in my car from here on out. When his buddy is in the car with him, he will ride in the Marathon (which will otherwise become The Girl’s), and she will ride in the booster seat. When he is in the car with his sister he will ride in the booster seat. As we were contemplating this carseat switcheroo I started seeing the memory You Tube video of the little boy who died when his seatbelt failed in my head, but I had to squash it. I just can’t see spending the money on another Marathon at this point. A big part of me really looks forward to The Boy being able to easily fasten his own seat belt in the booster seat…one less kid to strap in sounds downright heavenly to me. Does it make me a bad Mom to not want to deal with a 5-point harness anymore?
We are looking at the Britax Parkway, anyone have it or another you could tell me about?
9.13.2007
Sizing it up
I was recently shopping for some fall clothing for my kids (at Target). The Girl needed some new pants and a few long-sleeved shirts that don't scream "this is a hand-me-down from my brother can't you tell!" The Boy needed a new fall jacket, and a few pairs of pants. I had good luck finding the items for The Girl, she is a tall 2 year old with a long torso, so she is generally wearing size 2T (only if it sports an adjustable waistband) for pants and a 3T for shirts.
The Boy is a little trickier to shop for though. He has the same micro waist his sister has so adjustable waistbands are a necessity. He is almost too tall for 4T pants now, but I guess we will just make him wear high-waters this fall. I am at a loss for what size to buy him. I do occasionally see 5T sized clothes, but not always. I've ventured over to the "boys" section and see size 4 and size 5 clothing, but when comparing to the T series clothes they seem much bigger and baggier (which translates to very sloppy looking 4 year old). Does it make sense that a 5T sized shirt would look like it fits The Boy well, but a size 4/5 shirt looks like he is borrowing one of my old shirts for the day? Is this a result of style, do I just have to get used to my cute little boy swimming in his clothing before he can even demand such a thing?
I found this website, which gives a great summary of the size ranges for kids clothing. I think I will take The Boy's measurements to see where he falls.
The Boy is a little trickier to shop for though. He has the same micro waist his sister has so adjustable waistbands are a necessity. He is almost too tall for 4T pants now, but I guess we will just make him wear high-waters this fall. I am at a loss for what size to buy him. I do occasionally see 5T sized clothes, but not always. I've ventured over to the "boys" section and see size 4 and size 5 clothing, but when comparing to the T series clothes they seem much bigger and baggier (which translates to very sloppy looking 4 year old). Does it make sense that a 5T sized shirt would look like it fits The Boy well, but a size 4/5 shirt looks like he is borrowing one of my old shirts for the day? Is this a result of style, do I just have to get used to my cute little boy swimming in his clothing before he can even demand such a thing?
I found this website, which gives a great summary of the size ranges for kids clothing. I think I will take The Boy's measurements to see where he falls.
9.11.2007
Compilations
I wrote this post several months ago, but never published it, then came back to it again a few months later and still didn't publish it. I decided that today is a fitting day to finally take these thoughts out of my computer and share them with you.
As I was driving to work one morning a few weeks ago I was flipping between radio stations searching for decent music. I stumbled upon a station playing a compilation song. Perhaps this is a local phenomenon, but I’d guess not. I couldn’t tell you the song it was put to because I didn’t listen for very long. It was some sort of tribute to the US troops fighting the war in Iraq or other various places. It was a touching song, with snippets from people who called in to offer their support and well wishes. I felt like vomiting. I changed the station settling on a Jewel song which wasn’t much of an improvement. Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against offering words of support to our troops, but I don’t want to hear a tacky radio compilation of poor voice quality recordings intermingled with music. It reminded me of my drive back from Denver after September 11th, 2001. I’d been flying to San Francisco the morning of September 11th, and when they grounded all air traffic we were forced to divert to Denver. I won’t go into details, but I ended up managing to borrow a car from my company’s Denver sales office to get me back home. I didn’t want to wait out the air traffic nightmare to get me home.
Along my long drive home I flipped endlessly between radio stations, and it seemed that compilation songs were everywhere. I finally stopped at a Target en route to buy some CDs so I had other options. I don’t think I was ever bothered by compilation songs before that drive home, but now whenever I hear one I go right back to that trip. I’m not sure why it stirs up such a negative response from me; the trip back wasn’t all that horrible. I did have an intense longing to get back home as quickly as possible. I think every single person who had my cell phone number (and even some who didn’t have it before that day) called me on September 11th to make sure I was safe. They all knew I was a frequent flier and wanted to make sure that by some crazy coincidence I wasn’t on one of the ill-fated flights. I felt tremendously loved; family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances called to check on me. I think many people felt an urge to just hunker down with their families after such a tragedy, and that was certainly the case for me. I needed to get back home as quickly as possible, driving all the way from Denver to Lincoln, Nebraska in one evening, and continuing home the next morning.
I wasn’t one to want to sit and watch the news coverage of the tragedy for hours upon hours though. Mostly I wanted to be home, to feel grounded, and return to some sort of normalcy. Listening to the compilation songs was only making me think more about the tragic events, and was bringing me down. Some people need to deal with catastrophes by learning all that they can about why it happened. I need to move on quickly so I don’t bog myself down with depressing details. That may sound callous, but that is how I function. I guess I am the same way with the war in Iraq. I catch my updates on The Daily Show, but aside from that I mostly tune it out. I know I am guilty of a “not my problem” mentality. There is a group of people who periodically hold up “bring the troops home” signs along my drive home from work. They stand on the sides of a busy intersection with “honk for peace” signs as well. I never honk. I try to avert my eyes. It isn’t that I don’t want peace, or that I don’t want the troops to come home, because I do. I just don’t want to think about it any more than I have to.
Before the 2004 presidential election I got all fired up wanting to get rid of Bush, but it didn’t happen. Our country is now in far worse shape then it was even in 2004. I tell myself that if thinking about it didn’t help, not thinking about it isn’t going make it worse and at least I am spared the mental anguish along the way. I’ll keep flipping away from compilation songs because listening to them isn’t the answer. Somehow we managed to get in this position as a country, and I can’t help but feel that it is because so many other people just don’t want to think about it either. The songs might provide some comfort to the families who have members serving in the armed forces, but they aren’t changing the status quo. Spreading democracy through warfare makes about as much sense as chopping off an arm to cure a hangnail, but there we are. Perhaps one day we will wake up and realize that it isn’t the responsibility of the United States to save the rest of the countries of the world from themselves. 4000 years of fighting isn’t going to end because we say “don’t you want to be like us?” I would say that generally people don’t like it when you occupy their country and tell them you know what is best for them. I can also attest to the fact that I don’t enjoy being encouraged to live in fear of what might happen. The more we fear, the more likely we are to have something to be afraid of.
I’m not sure why I felt compelled to write this post, it has been sitting in my drafts for quite a while unpublished. I think my desire to post it is fueled by the fact that I want to wake up from my slumber, but I’m still rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I listened to part of the interim report on the progress in Iraq yesterday. I was most struck by the tone our president used before opening up to questions from reporters. Most of all it seems our president wants us to be afraid, afraid of terrorists, afraid for the future of Iraq, afraid of Iran, afraid, afraid, and afraid. His presidency has been one built almost entirely on fear. This presidency is a sharp contrast from other presidencies in dark times for our country. I think FDR was quite wise when he gave his inaugural address:
While our president certainly does a good job of pointing out who were are supposed to fear, he is lacking the frankness and honesty required to overcome the fear. It seems as though we are supposed to behave as obedient children, doing as we are told, not questioning the great patriarch who knows better than we do. The only way this strategy can be effective is if we as a country are all too afraid to speak out against it. I’m not going to live in fear anymore. It isn’t healthy. It isn’t in our country’s best interest to remain fearful long-term, this does nothing but fuel hate, resentment, and greed.
As I was driving to work one morning a few weeks ago I was flipping between radio stations searching for decent music. I stumbled upon a station playing a compilation song. Perhaps this is a local phenomenon, but I’d guess not. I couldn’t tell you the song it was put to because I didn’t listen for very long. It was some sort of tribute to the US troops fighting the war in Iraq or other various places. It was a touching song, with snippets from people who called in to offer their support and well wishes. I felt like vomiting. I changed the station settling on a Jewel song which wasn’t much of an improvement. Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against offering words of support to our troops, but I don’t want to hear a tacky radio compilation of poor voice quality recordings intermingled with music. It reminded me of my drive back from Denver after September 11th, 2001. I’d been flying to San Francisco the morning of September 11th, and when they grounded all air traffic we were forced to divert to Denver. I won’t go into details, but I ended up managing to borrow a car from my company’s Denver sales office to get me back home. I didn’t want to wait out the air traffic nightmare to get me home.
Along my long drive home I flipped endlessly between radio stations, and it seemed that compilation songs were everywhere. I finally stopped at a Target en route to buy some CDs so I had other options. I don’t think I was ever bothered by compilation songs before that drive home, but now whenever I hear one I go right back to that trip. I’m not sure why it stirs up such a negative response from me; the trip back wasn’t all that horrible. I did have an intense longing to get back home as quickly as possible. I think every single person who had my cell phone number (and even some who didn’t have it before that day) called me on September 11th to make sure I was safe. They all knew I was a frequent flier and wanted to make sure that by some crazy coincidence I wasn’t on one of the ill-fated flights. I felt tremendously loved; family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances called to check on me. I think many people felt an urge to just hunker down with their families after such a tragedy, and that was certainly the case for me. I needed to get back home as quickly as possible, driving all the way from Denver to Lincoln, Nebraska in one evening, and continuing home the next morning.
I wasn’t one to want to sit and watch the news coverage of the tragedy for hours upon hours though. Mostly I wanted to be home, to feel grounded, and return to some sort of normalcy. Listening to the compilation songs was only making me think more about the tragic events, and was bringing me down. Some people need to deal with catastrophes by learning all that they can about why it happened. I need to move on quickly so I don’t bog myself down with depressing details. That may sound callous, but that is how I function. I guess I am the same way with the war in Iraq. I catch my updates on The Daily Show, but aside from that I mostly tune it out. I know I am guilty of a “not my problem” mentality. There is a group of people who periodically hold up “bring the troops home” signs along my drive home from work. They stand on the sides of a busy intersection with “honk for peace” signs as well. I never honk. I try to avert my eyes. It isn’t that I don’t want peace, or that I don’t want the troops to come home, because I do. I just don’t want to think about it any more than I have to.
Before the 2004 presidential election I got all fired up wanting to get rid of Bush, but it didn’t happen. Our country is now in far worse shape then it was even in 2004. I tell myself that if thinking about it didn’t help, not thinking about it isn’t going make it worse and at least I am spared the mental anguish along the way. I’ll keep flipping away from compilation songs because listening to them isn’t the answer. Somehow we managed to get in this position as a country, and I can’t help but feel that it is because so many other people just don’t want to think about it either. The songs might provide some comfort to the families who have members serving in the armed forces, but they aren’t changing the status quo. Spreading democracy through warfare makes about as much sense as chopping off an arm to cure a hangnail, but there we are. Perhaps one day we will wake up and realize that it isn’t the responsibility of the United States to save the rest of the countries of the world from themselves. 4000 years of fighting isn’t going to end because we say “don’t you want to be like us?” I would say that generally people don’t like it when you occupy their country and tell them you know what is best for them. I can also attest to the fact that I don’t enjoy being encouraged to live in fear of what might happen. The more we fear, the more likely we are to have something to be afraid of.
I’m not sure why I felt compelled to write this post, it has been sitting in my drafts for quite a while unpublished. I think my desire to post it is fueled by the fact that I want to wake up from my slumber, but I’m still rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I listened to part of the interim report on the progress in Iraq yesterday. I was most struck by the tone our president used before opening up to questions from reporters. Most of all it seems our president wants us to be afraid, afraid of terrorists, afraid for the future of Iraq, afraid of Iran, afraid, afraid, and afraid. His presidency has been one built almost entirely on fear. This presidency is a sharp contrast from other presidencies in dark times for our country. I think FDR was quite wise when he gave his inaugural address:
I am certain that my fellow Americans expect that on my induction into the
Presidency I will address them with a candor and a decision which the present
situation of our people impel. This is preeminently the time to speak the truth,
the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Nor need we shrink from honestly facing
conditions in our country today. This great Nation will endure as it has
endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm
belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning,
unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into
advance. In every dark hour of our national life a leadership of frankness and
vigor has met with that understanding and support of the people themselves which
is essential to victory.
While our president certainly does a good job of pointing out who were are supposed to fear, he is lacking the frankness and honesty required to overcome the fear. It seems as though we are supposed to behave as obedient children, doing as we are told, not questioning the great patriarch who knows better than we do. The only way this strategy can be effective is if we as a country are all too afraid to speak out against it. I’m not going to live in fear anymore. It isn’t healthy. It isn’t in our country’s best interest to remain fearful long-term, this does nothing but fuel hate, resentment, and greed.
9.10.2007
A fish tale
As we felt summer coming to an end a few weeks back, T decided that The Boy really needed to have the opportunity to use the fishing pole he received for his fourth birthday. The problem all along has been that T doesn't fish, so we kept saying it was up to one of The Boy's Grandfathers to take him fishing. Well as you know, life often gets in the way, and it just didn't happen. T somehow remembered that this little rite of passage needed to take place and took his Dad and The Boy fishing after dinner on Labor Day. The Boy caught 4 fish on his first outing. Beginners luck?
Saturday we decided to take both kids fishing at one of the local lakes. Grandpa came along since he has the requisite fishing license (T really doesn't fish), and seems to like hanging out with us. The Boy caught 11 fish, and had a blast (all very tiny fish that were returned to the water in relative health). The Girl and I found a nearby playground after about 10 minutes of fishing.
It is so fun to watch my kids experience things for the first time, even if they are things like fishing that I don't particularly enjoy doing. I definitely have fond memories of fishing with my Dad as a kid, and I'm happy that my kids will get to fish with their Grandfathers.
and with their Dad
Saturday we decided to take both kids fishing at one of the local lakes. Grandpa came along since he has the requisite fishing license (T really doesn't fish), and seems to like hanging out with us. The Boy caught 11 fish, and had a blast (all very tiny fish that were returned to the water in relative health). The Girl and I found a nearby playground after about 10 minutes of fishing.
It is so fun to watch my kids experience things for the first time, even if they are things like fishing that I don't particularly enjoy doing. I definitely have fond memories of fishing with my Dad as a kid, and I'm happy that my kids will get to fish with their Grandfathers.
and with their Dad
9.07.2007
Some breathing room
I got home from an overnight business trip just after the kids were in bed last night. T had just come downstairs when I walked in the door. He indicated that the kids knew I was home, because as he was rocking The Girl she said “Mommy’s Home!” when she heard the door open. He told her that maybe I would come up and check on her before she fell asleep. I made my way upstairs to unpack, and as soon as I flicked on the bedroom light, I heard a chorus of “Mommy” from the kids’ respective bedrooms. I finished unpacking and went into The Boy’s room first, knowing that he would be the easier to deal with. I gave him a hug and a kiss told him that I’d missed him, and said goodnight. He actually let me leave his room with no calls for one more cuddle. I went into The Girl’s room next, and she popped up and demanded to be rocked, which of course I agreed to. As I sat in the glider rocking her, The Boy appeared in her room and told me that he needed me to tell him a story. I told him that he’d already read stories with T and that he needed to go to sleep, but he persisted. He didn’t want to read a book; he wanted me to tell him a story about Him and his sister. I agreed, and quickly made up a story about the two of them, and their wild adventures. At the conclusion of the story I put The Girl down in her crib, and walked The Boy back to his bedroom, and they both went to sleep.
I went back downstairs after they were in bed, and chatted with T for a few minutes. We caught up on the kids, work, and household stuff I’d missed. It felt so good to be home. Most of my major work deadlines of late have been met, and for the first time in a long time I didn’t feel like I should be doing something more productive with my time. It felt great for about 2 hours. Now I’m bored.
I went back downstairs after they were in bed, and chatted with T for a few minutes. We caught up on the kids, work, and household stuff I’d missed. It felt so good to be home. Most of my major work deadlines of late have been met, and for the first time in a long time I didn’t feel like I should be doing something more productive with my time. It felt great for about 2 hours. Now I’m bored.
8.27.2007
Too busy to blog
I've been slammed at work for the past few weeks, so that is my lame excuse for being neglectful here. I had to travel for work last week (all of last week, got back yesterday afternoon after leaving the previous Monday), and didn't have regular internet access during that time. Now I'm faced with another looming work deadline, so I need to make myself scarce again. I'll try to pop in when I can, but I don't expect to post anything of substance until next week...and I have another deadline next week.
8.19.2007
We've hit the potty jackpot
For my long time readers you may remember that we had a bit of trouble potty training The Boy. Eventually it worked, but there was much frustration on my part before it did. The Girl is just 2 years and 3 months old and she is already basically potty trained. I credit daycare for this feat, because we certainly didn't initiate the process. The Boy was over 3.5 before training did anything, so I just assumed we had another year of diapers ahead of us. I even recently purchased a mega pack of Kirkland diapers from Costco, but I'm not sure we will need them all. The Girl has been in her new underwear all weekend, and has remained accident free.
Way to go honey, and thanks for taking it upon yourself to potty train, your parents are too lazy to help you in that department. I think that perhaps you are trying to make up for being so ornery your first 4 months of life, and your parents greatly appreciate it!
Way to go honey, and thanks for taking it upon yourself to potty train, your parents are too lazy to help you in that department. I think that perhaps you are trying to make up for being so ornery your first 4 months of life, and your parents greatly appreciate it!
8.14.2007
Hello treadmill my old friend
Forgive this post, but as I was running on the treadmill this fine morning I started composing a sad and lame little version of the awesome Simon and Garfunkel tune The Sound of Silence. The background is that I was running on my incredibly loud treadmill early in the morning, and my children woke up in the middle of my run. If you can finish it with treadmill running appropriate lyrics for the last two verses of the song I will bow down to you. I started watching the local news after I got these three verses down:
Hello treadmill, my old friend,
I’ve come to run on you again,
Because my husband who is trav-ling,
Left our kids while they were sleeping,
And the addiction that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of loudness.
In restless dreams I ran alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a closet light,
I turned my shoes to the hard and fake
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A red L-E-D
That split the dawn
And touched the sound of loudness.
And in the dim light I saw
Two other people, maybe more.
Children waking without screaming,
Children whining without listening,
Children disturbing runs that mommies couldn’t share
And they both dared
Disturb the sound of loudness.
Hello treadmill, my old friend,
I’ve come to run on you again,
Because my husband who is trav-ling,
Left our kids while they were sleeping,
And the addiction that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of loudness.
In restless dreams I ran alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
neath the halo of a closet light,
I turned my shoes to the hard and fake
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of
A red L-E-D
That split the dawn
And touched the sound of loudness.
And in the dim light I saw
Two other people, maybe more.
Children waking without screaming,
Children whining without listening,
Children disturbing runs that mommies couldn’t share
And they both dared
Disturb the sound of loudness.
8.10.2007
The Telephone Game
Here’s a fun little link-sharing Meme, courtesy of Fracas, that could devolve rather quickly into something a little less than wholesome:
Instructions:
If you’ve been tagged, check the last entry on the list. Copy this entire post, add your name and link to the end of the list, copy the sentence in the previous person’s entry and change ONE word in it to try and change the meaning of the sentence for your entry. Name and link only ONE person to tag and then post the whole thing as a new entry in your own blog. Please make sure to transfer all the links to your post otherwise you aren’t providing fair linkage to the people before you. Although this will take longer to get around, by tagging only one person you will avoid making mass enemies by having to tag many people, and it will also guarantee only one true version of the game is circulating out there. Fracas, the creator, will attempt to keep tabs on the game and periodically report on it.
Please try not to tag someone you see is already on the list. If you’re on the list, have been tagged again by someone who didn’t pay attention to the instructions and you don’t want to do another turn, please leave a comment at this post over at Fracas, and Fracas will take your turn for you in order to keep the list going.
1. Fracas - http://fracas.wordpress.com/
writes:Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.
2. Mark @ Blogitude - http://www.blogitude.com/
writes:Never continue dating anyone who is nude to the waiter.
3. Wiggy - @ http://damewigginsoflee.wordpress.com/
Forever continue dating anyone who is nude to the waiter.
4. Froggy @ The Road Less Traveled - http://froglette79.wordpress.com/
Forever continue dating anyone who is nude under the waiter.
5. InTheFastLane@ That's Life - http://thatslifev2.blogspot.com/
Forever continue dating anyone who is nude under the water.
6. Treadmillista @ Just Treadmilling Around - http://treadmillinginplace.blogspot.com/
Forever continue dating everyone who is nude under the water
I Tag...Christine @ Watch me! no, watch me! - http://watchmenowatchme.blogspot.com/
Remember when we were kids and at every opportunity, some adult would have us play that silly Telephone game? You know… the one where the lead person comes up with a sentence or statement, whispers it into the ear of the next person in line, and the sentence is passed from person to person until it reaches the end of the line. The last person then repeats the sentence out loud, the first person announces what it actually was, and everyone gets to laugh about how goofy it got by being passed from ear to ear and being altered because of mispronunciations and hearing ability.
Of course I realize that the game was simply a means for adults to keep us in line while we were waiting for something or killing time. Haven’t we even now as adults, tried to use it on our own kids?
Being the silly kind of fracas that I am, I’ve decided to create an internet version of the game, and use it as an opportunity for link-getting. Everyone wants links, and yet lots of people I know, prefer to get their links in a non-obvious kind of way. We’ve all done the “copy this list and create a post and you’ll get links” type of tag…at least once, but most of us don’t want to fill our blogs with those posts. It may get links, but eventually will chase readers away.
This is a fun way to give your readers something entertaining to read and get a few links too.
Instructions:
If you’ve been tagged, check the last entry on the list. Copy this entire post, add your name and link to the end of the list, copy the sentence in the previous person’s entry and change ONE word in it to try and change the meaning of the sentence for your entry. Name and link only ONE person to tag and then post the whole thing as a new entry in your own blog. Please make sure to transfer all the links to your post otherwise you aren’t providing fair linkage to the people before you. Although this will take longer to get around, by tagging only one person you will avoid making mass enemies by having to tag many people, and it will also guarantee only one true version of the game is circulating out there. Fracas, the creator, will attempt to keep tabs on the game and periodically report on it.
Please try not to tag someone you see is already on the list. If you’re on the list, have been tagged again by someone who didn’t pay attention to the instructions and you don’t want to do another turn, please leave a comment at this post over at Fracas, and Fracas will take your turn for you in order to keep the list going.
1. Fracas - http://fracas.wordpress.com/
writes:Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.
2. Mark @ Blogitude - http://www.blogitude.com/
writes:Never continue dating anyone who is nude to the waiter.
3. Wiggy - @ http://damewigginsoflee.wordpress.com/
Forever continue dating anyone who is nude to the waiter.
4. Froggy @ The Road Less Traveled - http://froglette79.wordpress.com/
Forever continue dating anyone who is nude under the waiter.
5. InTheFastLane@ That's Life - http://thatslifev2.blogspot.com/
Forever continue dating anyone who is nude under the water.
6. Treadmillista @ Just Treadmilling Around - http://treadmillinginplace.blogspot.com/
Forever continue dating everyone who is nude under the water
I Tag...Christine @ Watch me! no, watch me! - http://watchmenowatchme.blogspot.com/
8.09.2007
And modesty has left the building
The other Moms of kids old enough to open doorknobs can likely relate to this...I hope. It has been at least 3 years since I have been able to pee in privacy. Oh sure at first I made the cursory attempt to shut the bathroom door while I peed, but after hundreds of screams of MOMMY I NEEEEED you with pounding on the door and me having to get off of the toilet to open the door, I stopped shutting the door much less locking it. Occasionally I shut the door now, only to have a toddler or preschooler burst in on me aghast that I would shut them out of the room I'm in. It used to bother me, but now peeing with the door open has become my new normal. It is so extreme now that even when the kids are in bed I leave the door open while peeing.
T walked in on me peeing a few weeks ago (after the kids were in bed), and gave me a load of crap about it. Not only is it not his new normal, but he has never given in to the whole peeing with the door open idea. He still very much shuts doors when he uses the bathroom, a commendable trait I suppose. I have noticed that the kids don't pound on the door when he is in the bathroom, there is no DAAAADY I NEEED YOU. They give him his space, his privacy, they leave him alone. I know there have been knocks on the door when he is using the bathroom, but he mostly ignores them until he is done. Perhaps I need to try his approach, because the whole peeing with the door open isn't exactly my cup of tea. Any bets as to how this little experiment will turn out?
T walked in on me peeing a few weeks ago (after the kids were in bed), and gave me a load of crap about it. Not only is it not his new normal, but he has never given in to the whole peeing with the door open idea. He still very much shuts doors when he uses the bathroom, a commendable trait I suppose. I have noticed that the kids don't pound on the door when he is in the bathroom, there is no DAAAADY I NEEED YOU. They give him his space, his privacy, they leave him alone. I know there have been knocks on the door when he is using the bathroom, but he mostly ignores them until he is done. Perhaps I need to try his approach, because the whole peeing with the door open isn't exactly my cup of tea. Any bets as to how this little experiment will turn out?
8.07.2007
How much to pay a babysitter
I stumbled upon a babysitting rate calculator a while back. Mostly out of curiosity I entered the information which fits our household and our normal babysitter. I was given the rate of $5.75 per hour, which is in the ballpark of what we've paid in the past. I usually feel like an idiot when it comes time to pay our babysitter, because we have never really discussed her rate. Why is it that I trust this girl to watch my kids, but yet feel uncomfortable asking her how much she expects to be paid? Of course as someone who babysat plenty as a teen, I don't think I ever gave parents a set rate, just accepted whatever they gave me. I was likely underpaid then, when I made $2.00 an hour for watching FOUR kids, the youngest of whom was in diapers.
Anyway, I am posting this mainly because I'm curious to see how accurate the calculator is for other areas. Is it in the ballpark for you?
Anyway, I am posting this mainly because I'm curious to see how accurate the calculator is for other areas. Is it in the ballpark for you?
8.05.2007
How the podcast ruined my run
A few weeks back I discovered that I could download free podcasts from Itunes. It didn't seem all that exciting at first, but when I realized that I could replace the old tired music on my little Ipod Shuffle with podcasts for my runs I got a little thrill. So this morning I set out for my 10 miler armed with a water bottle, my cell phone, a baseball cap, and my magenta Shuffle filled with podcasts. The first mile was filled with music, but then I found a podcast and got engrossed. I made it through mile 6 or so on that first podcast (Manic Mommies if you are interested), and then Wait Wait Don't Tell Me came on. Ahhh, what a great show that is! I was so engrossed in listening to the shows that I forgot to worry about all of the aches and pains that can sometimes accompany a run. I also forgot to pay attention to my pace. My first mile was done in a respectable 9:15, but the rest of the run was downhill from there. I had only one other sub 10:00 minute mile today because I was running like I wasn't even trying. Oh well, I think I usually run my long runs too fast, so perhaps this was good for me. If nothing else it felt like the fastest 10 miler I've ever done...even if it was more than 10 minutes slower than I would have liked.
If you have any good podcasts to pass along please do so, my weekend long runs will be ever so grateful for new things to divert my attention from the fact that my feet are continually pounding against the pavement for miles on end.
8.04.2007
Remodel: DONE!
I’ve been a little lazy about posting the final before and after pictures, but without further ado here they are (click on the images to see them full size):
The kitchen
The dining room and entry way
The living room
The office
And the bathroom (I never took a before picture, for reference there was carpet, ghastly wallpaper, and lots of open space for a former half bathroom)
We are very happy with the outcome, and we were happy with our contractor. The project moved along quickly, we were well informed along the way, and when there was a big snag at the end they came through and made everything right. Looking at the before and after pictures really allows us to see just how different our house is now. We love our house now, and we would never have said that before. Now to buy some furniture, hang things on the walls, and just get comfortable in the space again.
The kitchen
The dining room and entry way
The living room
The office
And the bathroom (I never took a before picture, for reference there was carpet, ghastly wallpaper, and lots of open space for a former half bathroom)
We are very happy with the outcome, and we were happy with our contractor. The project moved along quickly, we were well informed along the way, and when there was a big snag at the end they came through and made everything right. Looking at the before and after pictures really allows us to see just how different our house is now. We love our house now, and we would never have said that before. Now to buy some furniture, hang things on the walls, and just get comfortable in the space again.
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